Trials and Tribulations of a Pixie

Went to see the Queen.....

2008-11-24T02:00:00.000-08:00

but I got as far as Portobello Road market which was canny but a lesson learnt..Pixies should not buy expensive snake skin retro handbags from a dodgy woman (even though she was in the Good Fairy arcade) ~ she did tell me that the snake had not been killed on purpose but had shed it skin - oh yeah - anyway more money than sense Pixie bought it - swanned off to Fenwicks yesterday dangling it from my arm and the bloody handle snapped - oh great. Now luckily it is a two handle bag but even so the prospect is now looming of hoying a bit of chain on it was really is not that aesthetically pleasing but I promise I will never ever purchase something made of dead snake ever ever again.

Not good karma because on the way through the market I thought I would buy a couple of pie's for my tea (got in about 9.30 too late to cook, not that I do much of that, I digress) - and considering I am a vegetarian (please God forgive me for snake) I bought a mushroom one and a leak and cheese one - yummy, carefully placed them in ones bag and minced off down the street to the train - being very careful on the way.... thats the first part of the not good Karma story...

Second part follows the fab half an hour spent at St Pancras Champagne Bar before crossing over to Kings Cross where were were frisked for hidden bottles of wine (as if) but we had been playing Chelsea - so a dry train - mmmmmm

Third part whilst munching into a wee snack before getting home for my pie's (posh pies mind) my veneer on my front tooth split - brilliant I knew it was dodgy and a bit had come off before anyway it will have to wait until after Christmas and after I have a few weddings in the bag as this is going to be mega expensive......again I am really really sorry about the snake,

Then when I got home I went downstairs to check on Granma Pixie and the antics of son of Pixie and wild Pixie got back upstairs and guess what Stella (the old Jack Russell who never ever moves out of her basket) had managed to open the zipper of my over night bag and had stolen one of my pies (mushroom variety) - it was there lying in her basket half eaten and for a nano second I was tempted - but on remembering the poor snake I left it alone.

So whoever rules this world please take heed that I will never ever again purchase a snakeskin bag from a dodgy woman even if she was under the banner of a Good Fairy

Oh the tribulations continue do they not x

Scratchy Scratchy

2008-11-17T03:25:00.001-08:00

Baby pixie could sit on her hair ~ she can't now!

Her lasting memory of her first hair cut at the age of 8 and 3/4 will be her Mother taking a pair of kitchen scissors on a cold Sunday night and lobbing it all off then taking her to the late night Co-op and buying her a Beano ~ the reason for such action ~ only NITS ~ as I type I am scratching the top of my head and as you are reading this I bet you cannot contain yourself.

One was actually walking across her forehead and as they say in the North East she was lifting....

But not anymore Pixie here only phoned NHS Direct - well action was required, not that they were much help on the Nit front - but I did eventually get the address of an out of ours chemist which happened to be in the middle of the biggest drug den in the North East - well it would be wouldn't it ~ I did take son of Pixie to ride shot gun up front in my Beetle but in fairness he was useless and we did get lost on numerous occasions.

Task, however, was completed but as we got hopelessly lost I jumped out of the car and shouted excuse me excuse me ...as you do....to no one in particular and this kind man who had just popped out for a chicken fried rice took pity on us and we ended up in his car and her took us to the chemist, waited for us and brought us back to the car - there are nice people out there only when he asked what was the matter with Baby P ..........I couldn't do it ~ so we spent 5 minutes talking about chest infections ....I did have my fingers crossed.

Now go and have a scratch xxx

Pixies are always busy near Christmas

2008-11-14T06:15:00.000-08:00

Well that is my excuse for not blogging so much but the trials and tribulations go on. A weeks holiday was to be the highlight of my year ~ what did I do ~ only manage to fall down the back stairs and am still convinced I have broken something but oh no Mr P convinced he is some type of Paramedic assured me elevation and ice was the answer......3 weeks later it still throbs but now the prospect of wearing one of those delightful plastic boots is not really appealing so I shall hobble on.

The day before I managed to acquire another dog - or he acquired us. Mr P owns a boat ~ not to be confused with anything in the luxury department ~ no this is more Primark definitely not Harvey Nicks ~ anyway it occasionally goes fast and it floats.

So whilst meandering up the Tyne this Patterdale Terrier jumped onto our boat and the rest is history ... he is lovely though x

And of course I have had another colonic - well it had to be done had it not, the only thing was to decide whether to have the tuna cheese melt before or after ~ I had visions of seeing it float by in the debris so I saved it for later ha ha.

Oh and I still have the false nails on which are a complete nightmare - lovely but not practical for a photographer - indeed not.

~ being accosted by teddy bears and men dressed up like bandits first thing in the morning is not amusing (Children in Need) ~ pixie in fright more like xx

Toodle x

Pixie Health Warning

2008-10-07T03:29:00.000-07:00

Something to share for those of us who when walking through Fenwicks as is my want, come across the Clarins counter - hey Pixie come here and see what we have for you, now all you have to do is purchase two items, one of which has to be skin care and you get all these lovely gifts free...not only that but if you buy a third item you get to pick from out lucky dip ....well needless to say on the Metro going home I had to take a double seat with all the "freebies" the kind lady gave me.

Unfortunately what she did not say was that when you delve into the "is your body thirsty and needs a drink" part of the "exceptional" gift - and if you think your little Pixie bottom is a tad dry (especially when Mr P is on his way home from foreign climes) - DO NOT and I stress DO NOT after administering said cream to ones bum ......do not go for a wee because like me you will slide off the seat fall to your knees, trip on your 'G' and bang your head on the wash-hand basin (mine being particularly nice as its Victoria)...but it hurt x

Nice smooth bum though xxx

Some Pixies Get Flowers

2008-09-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

As you know Mr P sails the high seas and a good job it is sometimes I have to say - absence etc etc but just to enlighten the masses I am Mrs P the 3rd. The other wives in his heyday got to sail with him to America, New Zealand and Canada - where have I been .....Hartlepool ... so with this back drop in mind would you not think that Mr P has a lot of ground to make up?

Bearing that in mind and the fact that his trip has extended now to over 8 weeks you can imagine my delight when a delivery van drew up looking for Mrs P - my enthusiasm knew no bounds ....what did I get...the biggest and best bunch of flowers - no..... underwear in a box covered in tissue ....no - 5 packs of ******* floor tiles for his sodding boat !

And and and I have to carry them home pack by pack - on the Metro - and considering today is Tuesday I have 3 more packs to go after today - marvelous!!!!!!!!!

What can I say xxx

Ridiculous Even for me!

2008-09-25T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am trying to be good, I really am - the credit crunch supposedly has hit the Pixie household but this little baby hasn't quite got the hang of it. As we speak I have a 1950's converted theatre light on an antique tripod stuffed into a Waitrose bag (the light not the tripod) - the bag is in front of me as I type and the light is nestled between a pack of stuffed peppers and a box of Kellogs Crunchy Nut.

The story is once I get something I have to either wear it like now, spray it right now or in this particular case plug it in right now.

Now for those of you who are unfamiliar to the Newcastle Metro System I have to get on at St James (home of the "Toon") and at best there are some dodgy characters at worst we are playing Tottenham - I digress - anyway getting this light home is going to be no easy task.

The ridiculous thing is it cost £450, came in a huge box and was swaddled with oodles of bubble wrap - and what do I go and do!

Hey man Pixie has lost the plot xx

Hey Man

2008-09-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

What with Kevin Keegan leaving and the Paps being outside my office along with disgruntled fans, too many weddings to shake a stick at ~ a wayward son coming back from Oz - not to mention wild child of Pixie who has created havoc in the Pixie Household this summer I really just have not had time to Blog.

Not an excuse I know.

Well it is the turn of the year and I still haven't had a holiday. Mr P is sunning himself in the Gulf of Wherever - actually he has been dodging Gustav and Ike but is due home soon.

I have a new (well new to me) black beetle which I am debating having a Pixie painted on the side - such a girlie thing but its fab so that is taking up mt attention - also still debating whether to give up the day job mmmmmmmm - we shall see.

Well you probably have all deserted me, and it serves me right.

Oh and I am still keeping Fenwicks French afloat although I have now discovered Primark xxxxxxxxx

Toodle x

Tardy Pixie

2008-07-14T01:22:00.000-07:00

I know Ihave been tardy of late with blogs but you know when things are just not going right - in fact one thing after another so it goes on.

The Gallery has long sinced closed (I received the Rates bill which was £12,000 for 7 weeks and one day) - and if I had a rent bill that would have been £36,000 - making £48,000 for 7 weeks in prime Eldon Square - luckily I do not have to pay it but the monies are being lodged in my account so that I can - credit rating!!!! that was the first thing that came into mind along with the most beautiful dress in Fenwicks French (D & G - tartan, to die for).

So my life so far, very busy with weddings and photo shoots, sorting out prints for people who seem to quite like my style. Having major difficulties with child no. 2 which has coloured the whole of the summer. Mr P has written off our car - he thankfully was not hurt but was border line over the limit from the night before so looks as though I am going to be the main driver for awhile (now thats scary).

On a brighter note I have invested in the latest Max Mara winter coat (people are wanting to kill me for my desire for the darker nights to set in) - I did ditch the green nail varnish (well eventually) and I have lost over a stone now so thats cool.

Hope everyone is well x

And the vote for ............

2008-06-05T07:22:00.000-07:00

Green nail varnish is??? Mmmmm I have just purchased some green nail varnish (for toes - not that it actually says that on the bottle) from Nails Inc and its called grass something or other. Have to say I am getting a bit obsessive about the colour green but its that certain green that one is being obsessive about more a green with a bit of lime in it - not the colour of astro turf - but hey ho when I girl is obsessed there is not a lot one can do about it is there? Especially me.

Am bored, hot and bored again. Not that it is photography weather either - far too contrasty.

Have a wedding on Saturday and fingers crossed we have some cloud or this little Pixie (I have lost a stone) will be running around looking for all manner of shade. Thinking about Saturday - what do I have to wear? Bi product of doing loads of weddings is the fact that one must have a decent frock now.

Why I am writing posh I have no idea - I have been watching too much of Lucinda off The Apprentice - now I liked her x

Green Pixie x

A Juggler I am not!!!!

2008-06-04T03:16:00.000-07:00

The past 3 months have been hectic. The Gallery was a huge success but a steep learning curve. Firstly the general public are barking mad - from the little man who ran around the seats shaking his fist and spitting to Harry Potters Father look alike - dressed head to toe in purple velvet - in a swish he was there and in a bigger swish he was gone, along with his portfolio of semi nudes dressed as fairies with a bit of bondage going on.

Life certainly has been a rollercoaster for me - during that time Mr P's Dad became critically ill and subsequently died - daughter of Pixie found herself in a relationship with a Fruit Loop of mega dimensions who we have had to get an injunction out on - "proper" work suddenly became busy - oh and I had two weddings and three photo shoots to fit in - so quite quiet really.

Of course I have managed to feed my habit and there are a couple more gorgeous frocks in the wardrobe.

Baby Pix is well and has started a new school - she now wants goal posts in the backyard but I have asked "what is wrong with jumpers" - the concept of which she fails to understand!

Anyway I hope everyone is well and if you haven't visted my website have a look - www.pixiechics.co.uk

Pixie is back x

50 inch telly and surround sound!!!!

2008-04-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

Mr P likes them big - tellys that is and after a huge argument in Fenwicks last leave he got his way and this monster of a thing was delivered when he was off shore. Think he was more excited about coming home to the TV than me - mmm. However, when it arrived I did cry - ridiculous I know but it just looked too big. Soon changed my mind when I watched Elizabeth 1 on it (sucker for anything historical) so I came up with the idea of surround sound.

This was delivered Wednesday morning. The TV broke Wednesday night. Well not break exactly I think too many buttons were being pressed from different remotes and that was that, no telly, no signal no sound just a couple of idiots pressing, banging and thumping at various remotes.

Of course it takes someone under the age of 30 to be able to understand such technology - having sat looking at a blank screen for a day and a half child of Pixie's boyfriend walked in and I kid you not within seconds we were up and running.

We now have two lists on the back of a brown paper envelope - one with instructions to turn on tell and one with instruction to operate surround sound. Who needs A levels eh?

Silly Pixie x

Born Again Goth

2008-04-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

I seem to be following in the footsteps of the traditional shampoo and set - although it is a blow dry and no rollers are involved I am getting into the habit of getting my hair "done" once a week - dear lord I sound like my Mother ~ with the exception....

My hairdressers is not any ordinary hairdressers, oh no you can get all manner of things there, candles, cards, rings etc etc and Mirrors - and not just ordinary Mirrors but to die for Gothic Mirrors. Honestly I kid you not Pixies decorated room (with stars) looked fab but now I have this big boy f**k mirror on m chimney breast - I just love it. Of course it has taken Mr P the best part of three days to line the tools up, get the "right" rawl plugs, have two tubes of liquid nails for standby and apparently we did at one stage need another pair of ladders (I went shopping after the last statement) but 2.5 days on and its up in all its glory. Apart from the fact its been put up too high and the mirror is neither use nor ornament for anyone wishing to put their lippa on - but hey does that really matter?

On the Gallery side things are going really well and although technically I am not supposed to sell I have kind of and also have had another two bookings for weddings next year.

The experiences are flooding in and I will have a lot of memories of this time. Harry Potters father (he wasn't really) but he was the spit (without the scar) and wore a floor length velvet purple coat with gold brocade that had the most amazing swish - he did smell a bit dank as though he lived in a cellar but that's a mere detail. He brought in his portfolio which consisted on women dresses as fairies in bondage and masks - delightful. I am sure Eldon Square would go for that one!

And the Toon one yesterday x

As if life ........

2008-04-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

isn't complicated enough - no what do we have a "Trading Standards Officer" just to really get on my ****. Since Pixie Chics opened the door I have had two visits from two different Officers and have had to explain in great detail that I am not selling from the Gallery - now I think that is fairly clear but why do they then ask why I have no prices on the prints......give me strength.

On the other hand I seem to have become a stop off point for weary friends and shoppers. Friends can smell the wine a mile off I am sure (even though we have to drink it out of mugs from Wilkinsons) so I will miss my Saturdays there. Anyway have another 4 weeks to run.

Mr P is on his way home from the Mexican Gulf I think. Am not sure what this leave will bring, his father is critically ill and even though they had a falling out and haven't spoken for years he is obviously upset.

So this is a bit of a tired blog. Its my year end at my "proper" job, I have had the Decorators in and for a while my living room was in the hall but it is all finished now - can anyone suggest how to get rid of the smell of paint?

Although I am not the most technical of bloggers and am in awe of some of the links, web cams etc other bloggers have, at least my website is now up and running.

Check it out www.pixiechics.co.uk

I'm off for a Valium!!

Is it me???

2008-04-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

Have been manning the Gallery today between 1 pm - 3 pm and believe thats when idiots and t***s come out to play. The prints are numbered - each number is beside the title - question - are these photos taken by bairns like - in a club like - mmmm no actually I took them, oh I was just wondering like, as you have the bairns ages beside the title - 1, 2, 3 - talented children.!!

Another question - are these pictures????

On the upside there are some nice people out there x

Pixie needs to chill xx

The Pix is Back

2008-04-07T02:00:00.000-07:00

Well you cannot open a Gallery, go shopping, eat loads of kit kats and do a blog at the same time now can you?????

Am back at what is called "proper" work today although I am "being allowed" a 2 hour break to man the shop in the middle of the day. Was there all week last week and its my first experience of the general public and have come to the conclusion that they are not normal.

Fame at last - I was on Radio Newcastle Drive Time - live - I mean how dangerous was that putting me on live radio - what an experience. So really the diet was not required as BBC TV have yet to call!

Have had a fab response though - and from other photographers so its been exciting times, mixed with all the usual drama that comes in the life of Pixie - and to top it all its blizzard conditions here in the Toon - and Maxxo - what was the score on Saturday then Pet?

Take Heed

2008-03-18T02:48:00.000-07:00

I have just had the most embarrasing experience with a Dalek.

Warning - if you are in Marks and Spencers do not buy their Dalek Easter Egg especially if you plan to continue shopping and travel home on the Metro. Everytime the carrier bag touched my leg EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE reverberated the length of Northumberland Street - girls sniggered, children ran to their mothers. On the upside though I did get a seat to myself on the way home.

Hiding the offending egg in the cupboard in the kitchen I thought that was that until Baby Pixie came around on Easter Sunday - oh no. 2.00 a.m. this morning the Daleks invaded again - so now I have two very confused and frightened Jack Russells - resulting in wee all over the kitchen - nice.

So thats my tale for today. I also bought a Simnel Cake - now Mr Fox you must be able to explain the meaning behind this delight - or do I have to Google it? Also can you tell me if Lent ends at midnight on the Saturday please - I have the Kitkat at the ready and the Green and Blacks cherry Easter Egg - oh yes x

I have just realised

2008-03-14T03:06:00.000-07:00

Its Good Friday a week today. I have also been given the reason why Easter is early this year and apparently its all to do with the Moon, a Jewish festival and somebody wanting break Jesus' legs to make him die quicker but when they got there he was already dead, and the other interesting bit was that Easter will not be this early for another 120 years and after that it will be another 340. Will someone wake me up please!!!

And the clocks are not going forward until the 30th March - it doesn't seem right does it.

Still not had any chocolate but Granma Pixie has bought me a huge Green and Blacks egg but now is the question - can you have your Easter Eggs on Good Friday or does it have to be Easter Sunday - this is a very important question so think carefully before answering - x

Lead me not into temptation

2008-03-12T02:53:00.000-07:00

Its the serial Adulterer's birthday today and I am normally the only one who marks his birthday with a card and a present (a wee minding - as they say in Scotland) ...what has my other boss gone and done - only bought him the most deliciously huge chocolate cake!!!!

They brought my "piece" down with great aplomb and said "now Pixie you can break the rule just this once" - smiling I agreed.

When they were gone I stuck my fork in with gusto moved it around the plate a bit, had a bit of a sniff and chuffed it in an envelope and its now in my bag as we speak.

Hale Pixie - I just could not do it.

I have amazed myself x

Or could it be the fact that if I do get on Look North (regional TV programme) promoting the Exhibition then telly puts 10 lbs on you - so not such a righteous Pixie but a vane one!

As requested...but

2008-03-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

Following in the famous footsteps of Elise - the master of cliffhangers I thought I would put my own spin on it!

So devious Pixie has a very poorly ankle today - an injury brought on by the high winds. I wish I could say I was blown sideways as I weigh less than a twig, I wish I could say I was so sleight of frame that the winds got the better of me ....no no......

The big backyard doors ate my ankle in fact gouged a piece out of it actually when I was in the back lane getting the bins in ....how exotic.

Pixie in Pain x

Confessions to the Internet

2008-03-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

Not only did I not go to the gym at lunchtime I went straight up to Fenwicks French - looked for the MaxMara delight - so that I could touch it again - some bitch had bought it - so what does this Pixie do - went straight to the "key" pieces where this Japanese bloke displays (cannot spell the make) but there it was - the perfect dress for my opening - quirky, off the wall and expensive - just like me.

Thank you God for the Four Part Payment System - Hallelujah x

A Good Rant

2008-03-10T04:26:00.000-07:00

Does you good - I was furious last night completely full of hell - Pixie lost her sense of humour big style and not only was the dummy spat out but the pram was demolished too. Hadn't finished this morning still had to have my say and slam a phone down and now I feel much much better for it all oh and I have just noticed that bitch from hell has just parked in our car park.

Now bitch from hell is married to a guy here who has had numerous affairs (I wonder why?) and she has decided its all my fault - eh hello, hence she never speaks, never calls, never sends a Christmas card - you get the picture? Anyway she is shopping in town today and has left her car right outside my window - today might just be the day folks!!!!!!

Don't mess with the Pix - not today anyway!

Its snowballing out of control

2008-03-05T03:53:00.000-08:00

Perplexed Pixie to say the least and I know you have to speculate to accumulate but I keep thinking of that MaxMara frock in Fenwicks! £300 to the Lab for printing, £400 for frames, £300 for business cards and £300 for a website. I hope it will all be worth it.

On the upside my Kitkat craving has subsided and I have lost half a stone but I feel like a pile of shite but apparently thats normal at this stage in the diet so we shall persevere with it.

Oh and I won the Photographic Clubs colour competition overall - its a points thing (bit like a Leek Club probably! ) so thats good.

Mr P is now in the States - it cannot be six weeks since I blogged that I was missing him? I now of course have the pleasurable feeling of being able to watch what I want, a tidy house etc etc - but that only lasts about 3 weeks.

Hey its all go is it not! Am off to Fenwicks now just to "touch" that Maxmara dress.

Pix x

Life is a Whirl

2008-02-26T07:31:00.000-08:00

It is incredible to think that 5 days ago I was in my own little world plodding on wondering if Jigsaw would have a mid season sale on shortly - hey ho. Now I have an appointment with my "graphic designer" on Thursday at 1.00 - my "IT chap" is on the case for my website (http://www.pixiechics.co.uk/) and my "Stationer" has just picked up the design for my business cards - OH MY GOD. Of course true to form I am now re-organising, re-designing my whole wardrobe and embarking on a life changing diet as TV makes you two sizes bigger - not that I think the Media people will go that far, I mean its only an empty unit for heavens sake and I am only in for 7 weeks and 1 day.

What I haven't mentioned, and what I have kept quiet about for ages is that I was watching an interview with Noel Edmonds (you remember I had an addiction to Deal or No Deal over Christmas) - apparently he sent a Cosmic Wish List - I've done one!!!!!!! Did it 18 months ago - and for once I am saying nothing x

A more positive Pixie who is still craving a KitKat

Am I on my way???

2008-02-25T02:20:00.000-08:00

My life has been turned on its head. I work in "town" have done the same job for 20 years - 5 years ago I met Mr P at the Airport after a 12 week trip. It started with a kiss and ended in an argument. He handed me a present and said "pet this is something you have always wanted"... it turned out to be a Sony Mavica 1mp Digital Camera. Well I immediately thought he had bought it for himself (as men can sometimes do). I didn't know anything about cameras let alone of the digital variety.

Out of pure bloody mindedness I took it and literally ran with the idea, the technology and the concept. To cut a very long story very short I now have a Canon 5D and my lenses are all Canon L's and I consider myself very lucky to be passionate about something.

Before Christmas I did a photoshoot for a family. The family enjoyed the experience and out of this I received a call last week asking if I would stage an Exhibition in an empty shop in a main mall of a major shopping centre for 7 weeks.

What did Pixie do ...........panicked and said no.

Apparently no is not the answer. I can only equate it to being like an animal in a Zoo for 20 years suddenly the cage door has been opened as the animal thinks sod this for a game of soldiers its a lot nicer in my cage than out there because I know it.

My cage door is open and my toe is being gently dipped..... still scared though, still wobbling but sometimes in life you just have take a leap of faith in your own ability.

Oh dear what a serious Pixie - and on a Monday too.

I've been tagged??????

2008-02-22T03:17:00.000-08:00

1: Name three things about yourself you would like to improve:

a) Within 1 Year

My negativity - oh boy do I have a problem with that sometimes

b) Within 5 Years

I would like to work on the positive new me and make the most of what I have

c) Within 10 years

Oh 10 years is way to far ahead x

2. Name Something you would like to achieve In:-

(a) Within 1 year

My own business up and running

(b) Within 5 years

Be earning enough money to work 3 days and shop 2 days a week

(c) Within 10 years

No money worries and no job

3: Name something you would like to help achieve for somebody else:

I would like to make Mr P feel secure

4: Name one place you haven’t been, but you’d like to go:

New York

5: Name one person you haven’t met, but would like to meet:

Twiggy

6: Name three material things you would like:

The Maxmara coat that looks like it is pretending to be a teddy bear its gorgeous and expensive.

A Canon 1DS Mark lll

Red mini cooper with a Pixie on the side

Addiction

2008-02-21T01:18:00.000-08:00

Still trying to cope with the lack of chocolate and hand on heart there hasn't been a piece of fruit and nut or turkish delight past my lips in what is it 14 and 1/2 days ! I seem, however, to be making up for the lack of the cocoa bean in my life by drinking copious amounts of Frascati followed by frenzied shopping sprees. So far I have netted an aboslutely fab retro leopard skin coat - oh was I not a happy pixie when the weather turned this week and I have never had "the cat" off my back -

Then we had the trawl of Fenwicks which produced two dresses from Karen Millen although Mr P insists that one of the delicious frocks makes me look like the Mexican flag but what does he know - the sound of areeba areeba every time I wear it is a bit off putting though.

The yesterday I discovered a 1920's piano shawl that I just have to have. Gorgeous white little number with a huge fringe and handsewn delicate little flowers, obviously this has been well loved and well cared for - I must make a note not to wear it when going for a curry.

Oh and I weighed myself this morning and I have put on 2 lbs - now how is that possible??????

Fat, sick and addicted Pixie x

Sick Me Like!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-14T01:31:00.001-08:00

Ok so I travel in on the Metro - this morning was not that bad but tonight - well tonight we are going to have to fight throug the throngs of skinny woman holding the most disgustingly huge bunch of red roses, not to mention the balloons - and of course there is the odd teddy bear to contend with.

Am I bitter and twisted - yes. Am I pissed off - yes

What did Mr P bring up this morning along with the Weetabix, Optivita and coffee - only the biggest box of Thorntons Chocolates you have ever seen!

Not one to be ungrateful - mmmmmmm.

Needless to say they are in the bottom of the wardrobe and with any luck Tilly or Stella (my two Jack Russells) will hunt them out like truffles and eat the lot. CHOCOLATES!!!!!!!

I'm FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!! His excuse was - oh I forgot about Lent - FORGOT ABOUT LENT.

HYSTERICAL PIXIE SCREAMING VERY LOUDLY!!!!!!!!

How to look good naked -

2008-02-12T01:38:00.000-08:00

Tell you what Gok should be more explicit - e.g. when he tells you to have sexy underwear for the bedroom and heavy duty stuff to make you look stunningly gorgeous and to die for - what he forgets to add in is how the hell do you manage to do the swap over.

My dilemma on Saturday night therefore was ............I had this fine knit thing on from All Saints, you know the kind of off the wall things you get from there - anyway this "creation" could loosely go under the term of "frock" - I digress. Under this "frock" I had a pair of Trinny and Suzanna "magic knee length knickers" (although with my thighs the knee length kind of crept up and formed a band on the top of my leg) - I digress again. On top of the magic knickers I had a petticoat from Spanx - which took me an hour to get into.

The night went well, the drinks were flowing, Mr P was jubliant as his big engine was nearing completion...I digress again and thats going to be another blog........his hand hovering on my knee, creeping further up my leg until he came to the Magic Knee Length knicker bit which by this time had moved a further 2 inches up my leg and was in danger of cutting the circulation off ...he turned to me, smiled, had a knowing look and gave me a wink - bloody hell he only thought I had stockings and suspenders on ..........now girls how do you get out of that one?????????

Oh and its day 6 I think still no chocolate but the wine consumption has risen x

6 Weeks of Pure Hell

2008-02-06T01:12:00.000-08:00

Chocolate
Thorntons Fudge (I have an addiction)
Sugar
Crisps
Nuts of the salted kind
Ice cream
Biscuits
Cake

The above is what I have given up.

I do this every year and every year I crave for a Chocolate Torte - not any chocolate torte but a Marks and Spencer chocolate torte dripping with specially whipped M & S cream drizzled with champagne - or the essence of.

You will of course by now have realised that it is the start of Lent - I am not Catholic so I must be a Saddist. Every year I dream of the pounds peeling off and like a moth this little Pixie will imerge in Spring sylph like and thin - oh dream on Pix x

I want a Kitkat x

Poorly Pixie and whats wrong with bees?

2008-02-04T02:34:00.000-08:00

Too much rich food I think - blame Mr P, anyway am back and full of hell as per usual.

It has been suggested that we change our large rug in the living room as it was not one of our best ideas (it has cashmere in it - not a lot - but enough) to continually shed all over the place. So with that in mind I thought why not go the whole hog change the colour and redecorate at the same time.

Well I am not one for convention and I got really really excited when I discovered a paper with cool gold bees on it - just for one wall mind but I thought it would be a feature. When the swatches arrived on Friday night I could not contain myself - Mr P "if you think we are having f*****g cochroaches on the wall you can ****** think again. They're not cochroaches was my feable reply but I have to say I think he had a point. So my bubble has burst and this little Pixie will not be having bees/cochraoches on her wall, although he did make the mistake of saying that I could have anything else - he'll regret it x

That Didn't Take Long

2008-01-21T03:15:00.000-08:00

Well he has been home since Thursday and my head is done in! Only another 5 weeks 3 days to go!

I love him with all my heart but boy can he be annoying and absence certainly dulls the memory. I forgot how irritated I get when he sits on the sofa (its a squishy little number that looks fab as long as you don't sit on it) and it hasn't been sat on much for a couple of months now. I forgot how he needs to have three TVs on (one in the living room, kitchen and bedroom on at the same time) - and we will not even go on about the size of his ....... carbon footprint - oh no.

And I have just looked out of the window and its snowing - do I go to the Gym or do I go to M & S - what sane girl would want to take her clothes off this weather if it were not to try on that delicious little baby in Coast....decisions decisions.

Well at least my tea is going to be cooked for me tonight. The current Mr P is a dab hand in the kitchen, he is the best husband I have had (I have only had one other) and his Yorkshires are huge x

Missing Mr P

2008-01-14T08:16:00.000-08:00

Now I am officially going on record to say that I am now missing Mr P. He has been away for 8 weeks today - how time flies when you are having fun! Now I am bored. Now I have two light bulbs that need replacing in the kitchen (the awkward kind), the car is dirty, the dog is needing walked and I am fed up.

I am on hot pins as we were supposed to have flight details today - nothing.

I have to get my timing right - the hair needs doing, the legs yet again need waxed, the eyebrows need a quick trim and do I get a fake tan? Thats the biggy - do I risk booking one for Saturday with the hope he may be home on Sunday/Monday or do I run the risk of getting the timing completely wrong and have the aroma of rotten eggs wafting around me on the night he comes home, not to mention the excess tan coming off on the bed sheds - the girlies out there know what I mean about the egg smell, I don't know what it is with spray tans but they stink.

The bed will also to have to be changed (possibly twice) as if the spray tan goes ahead then it will resemble the Turin Shroud xxx

PS Unfortunately Mr P doesn't look like the above x

Am In Need of Some Serious Help

2008-01-11T02:18:00.000-08:00

I am now deliberately leaving my purse behind when I go to the Gym at lunchtime (be impressed with the "Gym" bit) - why? - the Sales are still on - well to be precise all the dross and crap that no one wants and most of the stuff from the summer sales that didn't sell - all marked down to 70% - bargains - or are they??

This week has seen me going into TK Maxx for a new "gym" top and coming out with one black top, one purple hoodie and a black jacket with a white flower on it - WHY??

Going into New Look and buying two jumpers (identical except in colour) for £3.00 each because they were £3.00 each - WHY??

Searching in Jigsaw for that elusive bargain just because its the Jigsaw Sale and coming away with a straw bag (which actually was a bargain from £60 to £19) - WHY??

And then .........the finale ......... going into All Saints yesterday on my way back from the Gym (of course no purse) seeing an absolute snip of a "cardigan" reduced from £75 to £21 which I just "needed" (not caring that it was last summers stock) rushing back to get my purse rushing back to buy it and then ..........and then.......... (drum roll) having to justify to a 19 year old drop dead gorgeous sales assistant (the type you get in All Saints) who had to point out that the "bargain" had a hole in it! What did I do? I told him to stop pocking his finger in it as it would make the hole bigger and that I still wanted it!

Crazy or what.

I then decided that I would sew the hole. It didn't work. I then decided that I would put clear nail varnish on it to stop the hole from becoming cavenous. It didn't work.

Pixie has an addiction x

TO HOVER OR NOT?

2008-01-09T01:45:00.000-08:00

As a child, Granma Pixie always but always made me hover over "unknown" toilet seats. Her mantra was "pixie child do not sit on a public lavatory seat" and I never did and never will. This has resulted in a by product of extraordinary strong thighs for which I will be eternally grateful - I could crack nuts with them if I wished - I don't but if I ever needed a party trick I have one up my sleeve (or leg actually).

The scene is set.

To my absolute horror I received a text from a pixie pal who was "sale shopping" the same time as me. I know that her Mother had instilled the same code of conduct when having a "wee" outside so whilst we were liaising by text on how long the Q was in Fenwicks, Monsoon, Next, M & S and other ports of call she quietly dropped a bomb shell.

So knackered was she with standing waiting to get into changing rooms etc etc that when she needed to go for a wee she ACTUALLY SAT ON THE SEAT - now the only redeeming factor in this was that she used half a roll of toilet paper to cover offending bit of black plastic.

WHY?

Surely it would have been easier to go for a cup of tea????

I rest my case. Jo darling this one is for you x

Do you Believe in Angels?

2008-01-07T02:18:00.000-08:00

Throughout my years this little Pixie has seen some unexplained things.

I have witnessed Granma Pixie place a finger over a glass (not on it) and for the glass to whiz off and break (this was her attempt at speaking to her dead Father - no wonder I am odd).

I have seen automatic handwriting that was in the hand of a recently departed Aunty, I have turned to talk to someone who I thought was behind me and no one was there. I have a gentleman in "visitation" in Pixie Palace - thankfully not seen by me but by Cousin Pixie who is a Deputy Headmaster - not that should recommend him for anything ~ and of course how can we forget boy child of Pixie who all through his childhood would say that he saw things and I as a caring Mother decided he was paranoid (or had been smoking something illegal).

With all that in place I am still a little unsure as to whether to believe in all "that stuff" ~ there is a part of me that wants to. The result being not only am I addicted to Deal or No Deal I now have an addiction to Most Haunted. Good job Mr Pixie is sailing the Seven Seas as he would have a dicky fit.

I don't know why I do it to myself but I was seized by terror in my lovely squishy brown leather chair (just thought I would set the scene) last night when the "team" of Most Haunted were visiting some prison in the States and Carl (Yvette's husband) attacked Stu (Yvettes cousin) - as he morphed into some deranged dead ex prisoner - also how sad that I know all the relationships!

I digress - what I started to blog about was white feathers and its sort of got lost somewhere. For a while now white feathers (curly ones) have been appearing in the oddest of places and "they" say this is a visit from an Angel......mmmm........do you believe in Angels??

WOW

2008-01-03T03:10:00.000-08:00

Pixie is back with more trials than tribulations! Happy New Year everyone and I hope to read all about it in the coming months.

Well - where do I start? Perhaps with the gorgeous chocolates from Marks and Spencer - thats a good a starting point as any. Four very plump gorgeously wrapped confections, crinkly wrapping paper in shimmering tones of chocolate - to die for. And what were they really? Oh dear me only bloody bath salts wrapped up to look like sodding chocolate - I ask you! What happened to the square Lily of the Valley bath cubes that you used to get ? - you knew where you were then!

And thats not all - after unwrapping and plonking in a swirling bath of steamy hot water - what happened - nothing! I gently stepped in and had a look, maybe these were faulty - maybe they were chocolates after all? No no - what had M & S done - they had only double wrapped the sodding things with cling film - cling film ?? why???

So visualise please a naked Pixie trying to luxuriate in a hot steamy bath with bubbles and the aroma of chocolate - the reality is - a naked Pixie trying to open the bath cubes (balls) with her teeth thereby managing to eat some of the disgusting concoction and once these balls were free of their wrappings - what happened? - well I was engulfed in cow manure - brown - smelly - disgusting cow manure (I exaggerate slightly) but if that was supposed to be a chocolate smelling treat - well need I say more.

For all of you who have been following the tale of the Tattoo - the girl child had it done and it was the quietest she had been in her life. I will try and take a picture of it and post it but its still a tad scabby - it looks good though.

Mr Pixie was in the bad books for awhile (amazing that - seeing he is on the other side of the world) but he has redeemed himself.

I of course got the usual presents - the best ones being the ones I actually bought for myself.

So I think thats it for now - I have also developed an addiction for Deal or No Deal and that is very worrying (?)

Hope everyone is ok.

Pixie

What Ever Happened tp Arch Angel Gabriel?

2007-12-19T01:36:00.000-08:00

Baby Pixie was staying over last night. This morning a treat was in store, at 7.45 precisely in walked the "Narrator" (holding a torch for effect) along with numerous small dolls that usually live in a dolls house and one of these wooden things that it supposed to teach you how to draw figures. Since the night before he had acquired a painted face of some description - I know not why.

Out comes the now wooden thing that teaches you to draw - he was the Inn Keeper (a bit previous actually), then in came Mary on a rocking chair and Joseph (who hopped as his foot was missing). All of a sudden and to much aplomb out from behind baby Pixie's back came......................................................................................................."the Robot sent from God"

I have never ever laughed so much in my life - talk about improvisation.

Now the Robot was telling Mary and Joseph with the one foot that they were about to have a baby - then he flew off (he was a Transformer actually).

From laughing hysterically laughter turned to tears as she started to sing Away in a Manger - aaaaaaaaaaah and with that I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, a most Happy New Year and I will be back in 2008.

Cheers Everyone, its been lovely getting to read a slice of everyones life.

Pixie

Who the **** is Isobel?????????

2007-12-18T01:31:00.000-08:00

Granma Pixie has been perplexed. Granma Pixie has had her bloomers in a twist and why - well I have a cousin who has taken it upon himself to be the deliverer and picker up of Christmas gifts and this year he has turned into a compulsive liar and didn't turn up when he said he would. The reason for Granma's panic and dilemma is "Isobels present".

Now I had to have the conversation. Granma who is Isobel? Well remember your dead Aunty Elsies dead husbands brother who is also dead well Isobel was his consort/girl friend/bit on the side. Mmmmm Granma have you ever met Isobel? - no Pixie pet I have not, then why do you buy her a present? - well she buys me one pet - BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS WOMAN IS..................... I give up.

Then we had the crisis of Aunty Betty (Granma Pixies sister) who is in near hysterics because their second cousin Pauline has sent a card that looks like a Cemetry apparently. Now Granma had the same card and to me it looked like the Old Curiosity Shop but what do I know.

Talking about cards I also get handed every year three cards that are sent to Granmas - love from Young Joan (obviously there is an older Joan) some husband and a dog, another from Sandra and family and one from Maureen, David, some son, sons wife and their children.

Again I had to ask the question - who are these people and why do they send me a card to your house every year ??? - Third cousins five times removed and Granma writes cards on my behalf.

I am going to go in a corner to scream.

Baby Pixie

2007-12-17T02:12:00.000-08:00

Baby Pixie is 7 - Baby Pixie knows what she wants.

Saturday was the busiest shopping day of the year so far and we decided to go into Newcastle "for a lookie see" - not intending to buy too much, well thats a joke for a start but in principle that was the idea.

OK Baby we will go straight to Fenwicks toy department and you can get a treat - what you would like? Mmm thought Baby, - Robbie Thompson needs some new clothes. (For those not in the know Robbie is the doll that closely resembles Chucky - Miss Pizza you will understand this one) - but Baby why does he need more clothes - he is a growing boy was the reply and you know Mama Pixie you can never have enough clothes.

Thats my girl.

Its a big Thistle!

2007-12-13T05:55:00.000-08:00

Well it looks a bit big when it is scanned in but I have had it reduced to the size of a poppy head. Little Pixie thinks she is having nail extensions - well thats what is in her head, I am going to tell her that we are having a "bonding" afternoon at a craft shop to design a dinner set together - thats a laugh!

What is more amazing is the amount of people who know about this!!!!!!!!!

Have a good weekend everyone, Pixie is off to help Santa x

All I want for Christmas is a Tattoo????

2007-12-11T01:27:00.000-08:00

Mmmmm girl child of Pixie feels left out - boy child has a tattoo - a whopping big Ant actually (after Prodigy) but I insist it looks more like a spider.

Pixie has three but the whys and where fors of that is another blog completely. Grandma Pixie is also devoid of any artwork on her body although I do threaten now and again that an Anchor would look cool.

The trouble is girl child has a low pain threshold and although she has been outside the Tattooist, she has never been in - so when drawing up my Christmas list I thought - what has she not got - and there you go - the answer was staring me in the face.

So I have designed one for her. I have been to the Tattooist discussed the plan paid a deposit and all I have to do is wait until 5.00 Friday 21st December.

Now this could go horribly wrong - I might end up having another tattoo - she might go for it but leap out of the chair half way through or she might end up with nothing in her stocking at all.

She knows that she is getting a surprise - she thinks she is getting false nails - she's in for a shock!

PS The tattoo that I have designed is a Thistle (little Pixie is Scottish) and it is to go on the base of her spine - I love it!!!!!!!

Ghosts, Ghouls and Vibrators

2007-12-10T01:58:00.000-08:00

Living in a very old house and with two confirmed ghostly sightings I sometimes get a tad nervous - only occasionally, maybe an over active imagination I don't know but sometimes when I open the front door I can sense that something has gone before me. In actual fact my apparition is a tall man with a black frock coat and a hat but I digress.

So now you are furnished with a slight history I will tell my tale.

The wind is howling, rain lashing against the attic window I am snuggled up in a large antique French wrought iron bed, deep plum velvet throw over crisp white Egyptian cotton duvet and sheets, stripped wooden floor and white sheepskin rugs - get the picture?

Fantastic

2.30 this morning said Egyptian cotton duvet, deep plum velvet throw get tossed in the air, I slip on the wonderful opulent sheepskin rug and I am running around the bedroom in search of an unhuman sound.

Now people tell me this ~ how does a six inch vibrator with dead batteries manage to turn itself on in the middle of the night when it is locked away in a cupboard!!!!!!!!!!

Tired Pixie does not know the answer either.

Reflexology Rocks

2007-12-07T06:03:00.000-08:00

Oh what a treat and I have just discovered the difference between foot rub and foot massage - oooh 45 minutes of pure delight. Wrapped up in warm towels listening to the sound of crashing waves on a distant shore, twinkling lights and the smell of frankensence - fabulous.

Working down the menu of sensual pleasures my next adventure is "hot stones" mmmmm I cannot wait.

Can you tell I have an absent husband.

Girls my hot tip is to get a significant other half to grap hold of your big toe and middle toe and pull in different directions whilst gently rubbing in a circular motion - oh yes x

OK here it goes......

2007-12-06T02:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Baby Pix

Do not be upset that your accent is different, that is a good thing and it will stand you in good stead. Your Cockney accent makes you distinctive, stand up to the bullies who presume that different is "posh" - what do they know. Scotland will not be the place for you but you will spend a good chunk of your life there. Keep digging the tunnel girl and eventually you will end up full circle back to where you were born - Newcastle. Still with a different accent but a Geordie at heart.

Kenny Biernet is a tosser - but at 14 what do you know. This however will be the blue print for many of your relationships to come - they will usually be short and definitely tossers. Unfortunately pet you will marry one of these. You will stay married for 13 years but do not have a faint heart things will turn.

In these 13 years you will become down trodden and dowdy, your husband will abuse you both physically and verbally and you will be at a loss as to what to do. You will have two children, a boy and a girl.

Then unexpectedly your Dad dies and your life changes. Someone flicks the switch and for the first time you see your life through different eyes.

You leave said megga Tosser (Pete) and you start a wonderful roller coaster of adventure. You kiss a lot of frogs but it is great fun, you are now a butterfly and are sick with the excitemen of it all.

You pack up your family and Granma Pixie and you head for the hills. Your life changes forever.

You meet the love of your life and you climb onto a pedastal and you stay there.

Go girl x

Trinny and Susannah have a lot to answer for

2007-12-06T01:20:00.000-08:00

For those not in the "know" and there cannot be that many - Trinny and Susannah are the UK's most opinionated women and they vocalise their opinions fearlessly through TV and media. Between Gok and How to Look Good Naked and T & S's efforts to Dress the Nation my lunch hours have been totally ruined ~ for why?

(a) I could not move in Top Shop yesterday for 80 somethings asking where the Kate Moss section was......

(b) I had to trawl through Boots for the "best body butter ever" - (actually it is good.)

Then of course it hasn't stoppped there - I have only gone and bought the book (in my defence it was half price in Waterstones)

So now I have decided to enter myself as a question in a Pub Quiz - "guess the shape of the Pixie"

Here are your choices:-

Skittle
Goblet
Hourglss
Cornet
Cello
Apple
Column
Bell
Vase
Brick
Lollipop
Pear

I ask you what self respecting Pixie would call herself a brick?

I don't think so x

Its All Too Much

2007-12-05T02:00:00.000-08:00

I love and hate Christmas. At the moment I am just getting over the drama of Granma Pixies TV remote control dying - the prospect of her missing Julie Andrews at Christmas was just too much. The fact that her ceiling light bulb had also gone out and I had to do a Commando like pose on the floor to try and get the TV out of standby mode with a torch was unbelievable. The fact that you can apparently buy a global remote control is hillarious - because it was bound to fail. Keying in 25 different codes for Hitachi was so much fun. It was even more fun to discover that it was the sensor that had gone on the TV and nothing to do with the remote.

Even better when my key got stuck in my front door and I was locked out, this meant having to climb over the back wall (Mr Pixie is still at sea - oh great) going through Granma Pixies (she lives downstairs) ...she is a bit deaf and couldn't hear the hysterical knocking on her door and I had left her spare key in the house......it gets better....eventually

Leaving key still in lock I "dashed" to Tesco for some of that UB40 stuff (whatever) 6 bottles of wine, 3 red, 3 white and Vodka for Granma. The oil worked a treat and the key was released but because I was up a height I found I had left a bag in Tesco (it happened to contain the new remix Rolling Stones CD that has been advertised on telly). Now our Tesco has a "funny" corner and when you combine a stressed Pixie the "funny" corner and the parking situation all becomes too much, especially when I found myself back there within 20 minutes of departure. Of course surprise surprise the missing bag hadn't been handed in - oh no ...when I got back home (now nicknamed Amityville) the bag was on the table.

Mr Pixie's comment when told the tale by email.....you are such a drama queen - oh how lucky he is to be in Trinidad xxxx

Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

2007-11-23T02:48:00.000-08:00

Ooooh for the first time since June (I jest) it was snowing this morning in the North East - only for 20 minutes but that was enough. Dark days before Christmas, little flakes of snow falling on a quiet land ...marvellous. Then back to reality with a bump, I am wrapped up for winter, office is warm as toast and I am sweating like a fat lass (apologies but that is a well known saying in Newcastle).

Yippeeeeeeee its nearly the weekend x

Can I do it??

2007-11-22T07:28:00.000-08:00

At the moment you could easily platt the hair on this Pixies legs....can I do it? Can I wait until the Beautician (woman in black) has a spare five minutes to whip them off (hot wax) mmm ..my money is on the razor.

I can see it now - relaxing in a lovely hot bath, the aforementioned hair floating like wafts of seaweed amongst the bubbles - hand reaches out for the Palmolive and grabs the razor instead - and thats it in 2 seconds flat all my effort trying to grow the hairs on my legs long enough to get waxed and be hair free for hopefully at least 3 weeks gone - !!

Also whilst writing can I please complain about sniffers - and I don't want to be sexist here but its normally a man - this morning on the train into work I was surrounded ...it started with a sniff, then a bigger sniff and then a swallow - gross - what has happened to nice hankies, the one your Aunty always gave you with your initials on - ???????

Everyone needs a little...............

2007-11-16T02:28:00.001-08:00

.................Booja-Booja

If you haven't yet tried this delectable delight then seek it out whilst stocks last!!!!

For those not in the "know" this is chocolate suitable for Vegans - DO NOT LET THAT PUT YOU OFF - it is only readily available at Easter and Christmas (and only in posh shops) but it is such a treat. I popped to Fenwicks today (reasonably posh shop in Newcastle) to buy coffee and came out with the following:-

A Newcastle United FC Advent Calendar
A box of After Eights
A large box of Booja Booja
A small advent calendar

and a pop up Christmas Card

A jar of Nescafe has therefore cost me £23.00

Bargain x

Chips Made by Elvis

2007-11-15T01:44:00.000-08:00

I am a "game of two halves" husband went off to sea on Monday and I am having an Indian Head Massage on Saturday - why - cos I can. I also had cheese patty and chips last night from "Erics" (local chip shop that has wall to wall Elvis pictures all over the place, in fact I think Eric is Elvis) - why - cos I can. I slept in the middle of the bed last night - lush - I didn't do the dishes until this morning - marvellous.

Of course the euphoria only lasts about 8 to 9 days then I start to miss him - but I haven't reached that stage yet.

Apart from the excitement of the forthcoming head massage I also got my tash waxed last night. I think I reached the stage that you could platt it and put beads in it, it was that overgrown - I also asked her to do my chin by she refused (she being the lovely girl that comes to your house and inflicts torture for a fiver - bargain) - apparently if you start with that you soon become the bearded lady/pixie.

Mmmmmmmmm

Inside Out

2007-11-14T02:21:00.000-08:00

Why am I wearing a jumper that deliberately looks like it is inside out, why do I buy skirts with no hem - threads of which could be considered a Health and Safety issue, why have I got a drawer full of pink, green and purple tights? All these questions were popping in and out of an empty head this morning, inbetween that and my efforts to see what the chap across from me was reading.

I obviously am bored.

To this end I am trying to kick start my creativity and have started working on the Artists Way Work Book. This means that every morning I have to complete "Morning Pages" i.e. as soon as I wake I have to empty my head onto these pages - this is to get rid of negativity....mm we shall see.

This mornings ramblings (and they are not supposed to make sense) were as follows:-

Car on a tightrope
Why did I have that curry last night
I am tired
I don't want to go to work

Think I have a long way to go with this x

Baby its cold outside...........

2007-11-12T01:41:00.000-08:00

Menopausal Pixies need to leave windows wide open because Mother Nature likes a laugh, she likes to turn Pixies into burning embers in the middle of the night, she likes to create rivulets to trickle gently down your back, she likes to make you so restless that soon the average menopausal pixie turns into an Eygptian Mummy and becomes so entangled in the cotton sheets (it has to be cotton) that Houdini would have a problem.

Windows open in Summer good. Windows open in late Autumn bad. Mr Pixie has a problem.

His objection is that he has to crack the ice on his glass of water before drinking, he has to wear thermals and run the risk of the 10 year old hot water bottle eventually springing a leak.

Hey ho.

He is off to Trinidad tomorrow for 8 weeks - windows will be wide open - bring it on.

Frustrated Pixie

2007-11-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

You know when you know you are right but the person you are arguing with thinks he is right and you are wrong uuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh x

Just thought I would share the frustration. I hate proper work I really do - much prefer the pretendy kind, you know the kind that you can get up at 10.00 for, finish at 2.00, not bother some days, go shopping, have a nice lunch, go shopping again and get paid wads of cash for it.

Grandma Pixie always said - rather be an old mans darling than a young mans fool

Hale Grandma x

Sad Today

2007-11-08T03:46:00.000-08:00

My photography enables me to meet all sorts of people and I seem to collect loads of friends on the way.

One particular girl whom I have photographed on many occasions came to me for an empowerment shoot. She had breast cancer 4 years ago and since then was having problems with coming to terms with the way she looked. This girl is a stunner but no matter how many people told her how good she looked the inner confidence was lacking.

We did loads of things, I have photographed her hugging a punch bag wearing only a G string, a white open shirt and killer heels, we have been to the beach and basically she just enjoys being in front of the camera. She has won me prizes.

Yesterday I was told the cancer has come back.

Sad Pixie today x

Decisions, Decisions ..................

2007-11-07T03:22:00.000-08:00

Age is not just about wrinkles, expanding waistline, grey hair and losing teeth (I know I have an obsession here) no no - its about decisions.

Every year we had a loo brush, then we had a bushy loo brush, then heaven forbid we had a silver one, then for years we had real ones, then we went for artificial with limbs that had to be colour coded and now - NOW - it has come down to a 3ft affair with fibre optics. Of course gentle people I am talking about trees, of the Christmas variety.

Sense has fallen on the Pixie household and as this little Pixie will be spending Christmas alone (no sympathetic aaahs please as I quite enjoy it) it seemed prudent to go to the garden centre (which of course by this time of year is dripping with every tree imaginable under its roof) and chose a no fuss no climbing into loft no cutting of trunk with bread knife kind of tree.

So thats it, I have gone and done it and at the bargain price of £14.99 - marvellous. Downside is that I "tested" it last night and I really really want to put it up now - .............

Belligerent Bunny

2007-10-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

You know when you are just driving along in the Pixie Mobile to B & Q and half way down the dual carriageway you spy a cute wee bunny which certainly had the potential to change the day.

Mr Pixie was definitely in save the bunny mode as we did an emergency stop, reversed and carefully sneaked up on Mr Rabbit who was busy just being a rabbit on a grass verge. Obviously an escapee and not your common or garden grey bunny, this one was a cut above the rest (in fact I am sure I had a coat of that colour in the 70's but we will not go there).

So I sat there in awe thinking 2 seconds ago we were about to go and buy wood filler now the possibility of buying a hutch instead was defintely on the cards. Problems 1 and 2 I have two Jack Russells who just adore rabbits.

My mood deteriorated quickly....if we were not in the market for hutch buying then we would have to be responsible for re-homing, veting all potential parents, feeding, watering, schooling etc etc. Oh God why did I have to open my mouth and shout "ooh look at the rabbit".

Steathily Mr Pixie crept up on our little friend whilst at the same time was rubbing his thumb and forefinger together (no idead why) maybe he knows more about rabbits than me.

The rabbit stood up in a rabbit way, looked at him and must have thought not on your life pal, I have just escaped from Colditz and I'm off.....and he hopped off into the sunset very quickly.

There is a God.

Sardines in the Dark

2007-10-29T06:50:00.000-07:00

A first for Pixie ~ ..... and maybe not the last. The time has come to oil the joints EPA Fish Oil and Glucosamine Sulphate does not quite cut it. The tablets are huge and if they don't go down with the first initial rush of water, you try again and because the first go has soften the torpedos they take on a mind of their own, turn sideways and decide to melt in your throat just before forming a dam thus making any hope of dislodgement impossible. Then death.

So I have turned to Sardines. In fact I turned to a Sardine last night. My very very first Sardine ever. Problem is I am squimish - so whats with the skin??

The answer - Sardines in the Dark ...marvellous x

Judgement Day

2007-10-26T01:31:00.000-07:00

Highly commended sounds cool but in my book its 4th - and I should be pleased with that considering I was beaten by a Woodpecker, Death Valley and a row of Honda Scooters. Have to say the Judge was extremely kind (he was from Carlisle) and took an age to explain why he didn't like the prints. He did have praise indeed for my "Ticket to Ride" which was the title for the mono bike in the station but felt the piece of "architecture" in the front was not required...(idiot) but thats me being a tad sensitive. Of course I was beaten by the guy you love to hate because he has an Epson whatever printer that has the inks down at the side, has a Canon 5d and a 1D, used to be a web designer (has made so much money he is now retired) and is off on holiday tomorrow to the Oman - probably to get drop dead shots of camels camelling off into the sunset - bitter and twisted I am not but I hate him x pure pixie jealousy actually!

So that was yesterday ................

Now I have to think about the prints I am going to submit for the next round. Trouble is I am running out of ideas for titles so I may run a wee competition!! Its unbelievable how pedantic they can be over titles. Hey Maxxo you were right about the allotment brigade - a Lupin got third place.

Oh and I didn't chew anything............

Fighting the need to be a wasp

2007-10-25T01:11:00.000-07:00

I used to have to change my clothes in telephone boxes as my dress sense has always been slightly off centre and my Dad did not understand me. We lived in Scotland at the time and the dance hall culture was still very much alive. Dancing to a live version of Chicory Tips Son of My Father is a lasting memory - getting tapped on the shoulder by this drop dead gorgeous hunk whom I had lusted after for weeks only to discover that he had no bottom teeth (seems to be a bit of a theme with me). However the main memory is the 6" black and red wrap around skirt, matching halter neck top and three inch heels that I was wearing at the time so............

Anything remotely different always attracts me. I have been venturing into this Stage School Shop for some time now on the look out for props. Ideally I need a 6ft black girl who will get her kit off for me, lie on a bed with huge black angels wings on her back (no comment boys as this is purely for portfolio reasons). So imagine my excitement when in the window of said shop I spied a full wasp outfit - don't ask me why, maybe wasps are in fashion - I have no idea. Yellow tights, antenna of sorts, black pvc bottom with a strippy top - if only I was 17 again!! Hey ho.

For those who are interested I no longer have to suffer someones groin in my face whilst trying to read my Bernard Cornwell on the train, the subsidence is no longer subsiding and we are back to normal.

Mr Fox - thank you for your comments and I did leave another post for you on my blog.

Of course tonight is judgement day - mm - am feeling less than confident as I have gone out on a limb here and my club is very much into robins standing on one leg on a spade in an allotment type of thing - not that I have anything against spades.

Another Chewer

2007-10-23T01:32:00.000-07:00

But not of the tooth variety. The first of this years competitions is coming up at my club (Camera - but they call it Photographic Society - I will say no more). Anyway I am not very good with pressure and after the judging I usually find that I have chewed through the programme, have eaten two Turkish Delights without being aware so hence no pleasure, and the thumb of my glove has been sucked to near death.

Why? Because Judges are horrible, completely and utterly horrible (of course they are fantastic if they place you). So why do I feel the need to go out on a limb. This is one of my entries for Thursday night (tune in on Friday). You either like it or you hate it. I love it but I know exactly what the judge will say - the background is burnt out - which it is but my theory is that it makes the shapes in the foreground more interesting. Anyway we shall see.

Oh and on the transport front - things are no better, still subsidence on the line so by the time I get on the train its absolutely chocker. Its a game of Russian Roulette - I moved up the carriage to let a girl use my"hanging space" and I thought - yes someone in the block of seats I have just moved from will get off at the next station and yes they did (just like why does the bread always fall jamside down) and yes the girl got the seat - what would have been worse though is that she could have looked at me and thought this older lady could do with sitting down - no win no win - and actually this Pixie is not that old - promise.

The Chewing Tooth

2007-10-22T02:14:00.000-07:00

It has taken me a whole week to come to terms with this. Brown envelope on doormat - please arrange for an appointment etc etc ...so I did - thinking that early morning appointments are at a premium so no chance of one until at least December - and what happened - a cancellation happened thats what.

So last Monday saw me in the Dentists chair at 8.30 am - I know I know.

Don't get me wrong, I am not dental phobic - I am just skint. I have already been dumped twice by NHS Dentists and have now out of necessity have gone private ........Now through the years I have managed to lose a tooth or three - please do not visualise a gummy toothless hag of a Pixie as that is not quite me(see above).

Anyway after years of porridge, weetabix and no toffee I have managed to survive but have come to realise that I only have one chewing tooth (upper right) and its getting a bit sick of being the only one in the playground.

After the all clear and before the dreaded hygenist I happened to ask what we could do about my lonely tooth. A number of options were given and discussed and I heard these words come out of my mouth before the brain engaged - so I think I have kinda sort of agreed to consider implants.

Apparently I need three so the Chewing Tooth is no longer an only tooth.

Apparently I cannot buy one at a time.

And apparently it will cost me £6,000.

I came out of there and the world has taken on a different dimension. No longer is that a fab BMW (secondhand) its is 3 teeth. No longer is that a kitchen to die for ... it is 6 teeth. My new macro lens is 1/8th of a tooth and so my life has been transformed.

I am now going to change my name to Waneta xx

Subsidence on the line

2007-10-19T01:51:00.000-07:00

The immortal words "we are sorry for the delay etc etc" - never mind sorry for the delay, what about sorry you have paid £400 for an annual pass but there is no way on this earth that you will ever get a seat. We can guarantee, however, that if you do manage to squeeze your nicely rounded size 14 bottom into the last remaining corner of the carriage that "the nutter" will also manage to squeeze in beside you. You will be bombarded with chat about his preference over Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney, how Elvis is really not dead and the miracle of corn circles.

Of course when the train is so busy it is quite impossible to play the game. The game of - mm - is she really wearing that to work today or has she not gone home from the night before? - are they really a couple and do all those children belong to her?? It passes the time.

Sometimes though I think I borrow Mr Potters invisibility cloak as the conversations that occur are remarkable and fairly puts me off my latest Bernard Cornwell. The sex conversations, the shall I dump him conversations and the affair conversations - move over Jerry Springer.

Oh and it is also handy to have some form of martial art training. Once after being bolstered by a wine or three I decided to confront the lovely boy across from me who insisted on lying across the seat with his feet practically on my knee whilst every other word began with 'f' and believe me it wasn't 'fab'. The carriage fell silent - what is this Pixie doing.... this Pixie was doing what everyone else should do - stick up for and insist on reasonable behaviour in public places - oh dear I am turning into Mama Pixie .... best dash

Who Would be a Wedding Photographer??

2007-10-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

It was about this time last year when not of sane mind and slightly emotionally disturbed that I decided to feed my addiction by entering into the world of wedding photography. I was very pleased at having thought of such a cunning plan and if the Taxman is reading this, well I only cover my expenses, in fact sometimes I get over zealous and give the prints away- honestly!

Cunning plan indeed, but I should have listened to those immortal words of Robbie Burns "the best laid schemes o' mice an men…" oh should I have taken heed!

I started down the rocky road to fame thinking "I can do this, it will be a breeze"……... My bubble was broken fairly quickly when one client approached me to check that I didn't have a dog phobia – in actual fact it was a Pit Bull phobia and the said doggy was to be invited to the nuptials and at one stage he was to be the "ring bearer" but common sense and the nice woman at the Registrars objection prevailed.

We move quickly on now to the Registrars – especially North Shields Registrar's. 12 o'clock weddings – nightmare, in fact 11.30 weddings to be more precise as they come out at noon. Whoever modified the Stag Line offices needs to be shot. The balcony that every couple wants their group shots taken on faces south and if it is a sunny day then you have had it. I have only done two weddings there one in November and one in June and both events were bathed in brilliant sunshine – how unlucky is that. One would have thought that you could have at least put money on the June wedding being rained off but no.

This takes me to group shots. First tip, make sure that if you are calling for a significant other that he or she is not dead (like the Grooms father etc) .. it kind of pours cold water on the proceedings, a lesson I learnt very quickly. Divorced families, squabbling siblings, the bridesmaids (one 4'6" and the other 6'2") all make for an interesting afternoon. Second tip, don't do group shots.

Now for the big one, technology. Who needs laxatives when technology can let you down. The words "CF Card Not Formatted" still makes me shudder. When this happened to me someone up there must have been looking down on me that day as I noticed it before the actual ceremony had begun. Now I know I can tell a good tale but how would I have explained that one! More horrors were yet to come – new to the game I had not bargained on losing a Card (my own fault, yet another lesson – always check your gear) and I was running out of memory very quickly (the gigabyte kind) –

Husband to the rescue yet again but instead of dashing to PC World to purchase an emergency supply, no no that is far too simple, he thought it would be a good idea to take the used cards, download them on the PC at home and bring the wiped down cards back to me at the Reception. All well and good except I remember standing there staring after the fast retreating car thinking he doesn't know how to transfer and save onto my PC…swear word swear word.

All, however, has turned out well and I live to tell the tale, the tale of the wedding cake made out of donuts, the bride with two dresses, the dodgy helicopter, the bride with the Mother in Law phobia, the black and white wedding, the one where the Best Man turned out to be a woman etc etc.

Anyway I must dash, but if anyone asks you to do their wedding think long and hard as trust me it has nothing whatsoever to do about Photography!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Day another Dollar

2007-10-18T03:04:00.000-07:00

Haven't decided what to go on about today but need to get away from the mundane which is office, family and married life! Yes this Pixie is happily married but probably because Mr Pixie goes off to sea every 6 weeks so that does help!

I really want to ramble about second marriages and how difficult they are and how everyone looks to the main Pixie for advice, help and encouragement when all she wants to do is take photographs, shop a bit, drink a bit and shop some more, although the lack of funds does hinder this somewhat.

As soon as something goes wrong I can hear the cries from here. Daughter, Son, Mother and Mr P - all the same, all tied to the same stick but instead of leaving them to it I am compelled to plough in there and try to sort things out, then of course little Pixie here gets accused of being controlling - I give up.

Well actually I never give up and that is the key to life, always find a positive out of a negative, always go onwards and upwards and try and dodge those curved balls that come our way only far too frequently for my liking.

Perplexed Pixie

2007-09-27T05:22:00.000-07:00

You just know when its wrong, you sit there, you look in the mirror and yet you say nothing and you know its wrong.

So why is it when this normally loud mouthed opinionated Pixie sits in a hairdressers chair all sense and reason flee and I nod and smile sweetly.

I think I will buy a hat x

Happy Pixie

2007-09-26T05:38:00.000-07:00

Am now a reasonably happy Pixie having managed to successfully manipulate an umbrella (green) large bag (black) and raincoat too small to fasten (green) in a squalling wind and torrential rain in an effort to spend as much money as a pixie can in her lunch break. Mission (1) locate and purchase two pairs of leg warmers (do not ask) Mission (2) to locate and purchase one pair of Walford opaque black tights (deep joy as they were reduced by £2.00) and Mission (3) to locate and purchase one black cashmere polo neck (hysterical jubilation as Pixie is not that fat after all - see remark about raincoat - and the said garment was a gorgeous Size 12).

Jubiliation on over drive and have just devoured one large Yorkie Bar and now I feel sick x