What Ever Happened tp Arch Angel Gabriel?

Baby Pixie was staying over last night. This morning a treat was in store, at 7.45 precisely in walked the "Narrator" (holding a torch for effect) along with numerous small dolls that usually live in a dolls house and one of these wooden things that it supposed to teach you how to draw figures. Since the night before he had acquired a painted face of some description - I know not why.

Out comes the now wooden thing that teaches you to draw - he was the Inn Keeper (a bit previous actually), then in came Mary on a rocking chair and Joseph (who hopped as his foot was missing). All of a sudden and to much aplomb out from behind baby Pixie's back came......................................................................................................."the Robot sent from God"

I have never ever laughed so much in my life - talk about improvisation.

Now the Robot was telling Mary and Joseph with the one foot that they were about to have a baby - then he flew off (he was a Transformer actually).

From laughing hysterically laughter turned to tears as she started to sing Away in a Manger - aaaaaaaaaaah and with that I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, a most Happy New Year and I will be back in 2008.

Cheers Everyone, its been lovely getting to read a slice of everyones life.

Pixie

Who the **** is Isobel?????????

Granma Pixie has been perplexed. Granma Pixie has had her bloomers in a twist and why - well I have a cousin who has taken it upon himself to be the deliverer and picker up of Christmas gifts and this year he has turned into a compulsive liar and didn't turn up when he said he would. The reason for Granma's panic and dilemma is "Isobels present".

Now I had to have the conversation. Granma who is Isobel? Well remember your dead Aunty Elsies dead husbands brother who is also dead well Isobel was his consort/girl friend/bit on the side. Mmmmm Granma have you ever met Isobel? - no Pixie pet I have not, then why do you buy her a present? - well she buys me one pet - BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS WOMAN IS..................... I give up.

Then we had the crisis of Aunty Betty (Granma Pixies sister) who is in near hysterics because their second cousin Pauline has sent a card that looks like a Cemetry apparently. Now Granma had the same card and to me it looked like the Old Curiosity Shop but what do I know.

Talking about cards I also get handed every year three cards that are sent to Granmas - love from Young Joan (obviously there is an older Joan) some husband and a dog, another from Sandra and family and one from Maureen, David, some son, sons wife and their children.

Again I had to ask the question - who are these people and why do they send me a card to your house every year ??? - Third cousins five times removed and Granma writes cards on my behalf.

I am going to go in a corner to scream.

Baby Pixie

Baby Pixie is 7 - Baby Pixie knows what she wants.

Saturday was the busiest shopping day of the year so far and we decided to go into Newcastle "for a lookie see" - not intending to buy too much, well thats a joke for a start but in principle that was the idea.

OK Baby we will go straight to Fenwicks toy department and you can get a treat - what you would like? Mmm thought Baby, - Robbie Thompson needs some new clothes. (For those not in the know Robbie is the doll that closely resembles Chucky - Miss Pizza you will understand this one) - but Baby why does he need more clothes - he is a growing boy was the reply and you know Mama Pixie you can never have enough clothes.

Thats my girl.

Its a big Thistle!

Well it looks a bit big when it is scanned in but I have had it reduced to the size of a poppy head. Little Pixie thinks she is having nail extensions - well thats what is in her head, I am going to tell her that we are having a "bonding" afternoon at a craft shop to design a dinner set together - thats a laugh!

What is more amazing is the amount of people who know about this!!!!!!!!!

Have a good weekend everyone, Pixie is off to help Santa x

All I want for Christmas is a Tattoo????

Mmmmm girl child of Pixie feels left out - boy child has a tattoo - a whopping big Ant actually (after Prodigy) but I insist it looks more like a spider.

Pixie has three but the whys and where fors of that is another blog completely. Grandma Pixie is also devoid of any artwork on her body although I do threaten now and again that an Anchor would look cool.

The trouble is girl child has a low pain threshold and although she has been outside the Tattooist, she has never been in - so when drawing up my Christmas list I thought - what has she not got - and there you go - the answer was staring me in the face.

So I have designed one for her. I have been to the Tattooist discussed the plan paid a deposit and all I have to do is wait until 5.00 Friday 21st December.

Now this could go horribly wrong - I might end up having another tattoo - she might go for it but leap out of the chair half way through or she might end up with nothing in her stocking at all.

She knows that she is getting a surprise - she thinks she is getting false nails - she's in for a shock!

PS The tattoo that I have designed is a Thistle (little Pixie is Scottish) and it is to go on the base of her spine - I love it!!!!!!!

Ghosts, Ghouls and Vibrators

Living in a very old house and with two confirmed ghostly sightings I sometimes get a tad nervous - only occasionally, maybe an over active imagination I don't know but sometimes when I open the front door I can sense that something has gone before me. In actual fact my apparition is a tall man with a black frock coat and a hat but I digress.

So now you are furnished with a slight history I will tell my tale.

The wind is howling, rain lashing against the attic window I am snuggled up in a large antique French wrought iron bed, deep plum velvet throw over crisp white Egyptian cotton duvet and sheets, stripped wooden floor and white sheepskin rugs - get the picture?

Fantastic

2.30 this morning said Egyptian cotton duvet, deep plum velvet throw get tossed in the air, I slip on the wonderful opulent sheepskin rug and I am running around the bedroom in search of an unhuman sound.

Now people tell me this ~ how does a six inch vibrator with dead batteries manage to turn itself on in the middle of the night when it is locked away in a cupboard!!!!!!!!!!

Tired Pixie does not know the answer either.

Reflexology Rocks

Oh what a treat and I have just discovered the difference between foot rub and foot massage - oooh 45 minutes of pure delight. Wrapped up in warm towels listening to the sound of crashing waves on a distant shore, twinkling lights and the smell of frankensence - fabulous.

Working down the menu of sensual pleasures my next adventure is "hot stones" mmmmm I cannot wait.

Can you tell I have an absent husband.

Girls my hot tip is to get a significant other half to grap hold of your big toe and middle toe and pull in different directions whilst gently rubbing in a circular motion - oh yes x

OK here it goes......

Dear Baby Pix

Do not be upset that your accent is different, that is a good thing and it will stand you in good stead. Your Cockney accent makes you distinctive, stand up to the bullies who presume that different is "posh" - what do they know. Scotland will not be the place for you but you will spend a good chunk of your life there. Keep digging the tunnel girl and eventually you will end up full circle back to where you were born - Newcastle. Still with a different accent but a Geordie at heart.

Kenny Biernet is a tosser - but at 14 what do you know. This however will be the blue print for many of your relationships to come - they will usually be short and definitely tossers. Unfortunately pet you will marry one of these. You will stay married for 13 years but do not have a faint heart things will turn.

In these 13 years you will become down trodden and dowdy, your husband will abuse you both physically and verbally and you will be at a loss as to what to do. You will have two children, a boy and a girl.

Then unexpectedly your Dad dies and your life changes. Someone flicks the switch and for the first time you see your life through different eyes.

You leave said megga Tosser (Pete) and you start a wonderful roller coaster of adventure. You kiss a lot of frogs but it is great fun, you are now a butterfly and are sick with the excitemen of it all.

You pack up your family and Granma Pixie and you head for the hills. Your life changes forever.

You meet the love of your life and you climb onto a pedastal and you stay there.

Go girl x

Trinny and Susannah have a lot to answer for

For those not in the "know" and there cannot be that many - Trinny and Susannah are the UK's most opinionated women and they vocalise their opinions fearlessly through TV and media. Between Gok and How to Look Good Naked and T & S's efforts to Dress the Nation my lunch hours have been totally ruined ~ for why?

(a) I could not move in Top Shop yesterday for 80 somethings asking where the Kate Moss section was......

(b) I had to trawl through Boots for the "best body butter ever" - (actually it is good.)

Then of course it hasn't stoppped there - I have only gone and bought the book (in my defence it was half price in Waterstones)

So now I have decided to enter myself as a question in a Pub Quiz - "guess the shape of the Pixie"

Here are your choices:-

Skittle
Goblet
Hourglss
Cornet
Cello
Apple
Column
Bell
Vase
Brick
Lollipop
Pear

I ask you what self respecting Pixie would call herself a brick?

I don't think so x

Its All Too Much

I love and hate Christmas. At the moment I am just getting over the drama of Granma Pixies TV remote control dying - the prospect of her missing Julie Andrews at Christmas was just too much. The fact that her ceiling light bulb had also gone out and I had to do a Commando like pose on the floor to try and get the TV out of standby mode with a torch was unbelievable. The fact that you can apparently buy a global remote control is hillarious - because it was bound to fail. Keying in 25 different codes for Hitachi was so much fun. It was even more fun to discover that it was the sensor that had gone on the TV and nothing to do with the remote.

Even better when my key got stuck in my front door and I was locked out, this meant having to climb over the back wall (Mr Pixie is still at sea - oh great) going through Granma Pixies (she lives downstairs) ...she is a bit deaf and couldn't hear the hysterical knocking on her door and I had left her spare key in the house......it gets better....eventually

Leaving key still in lock I "dashed" to Tesco for some of that UB40 stuff (whatever) 6 bottles of wine, 3 red, 3 white and Vodka for Granma. The oil worked a treat and the key was released but because I was up a height I found I had left a bag in Tesco (it happened to contain the new remix Rolling Stones CD that has been advertised on telly). Now our Tesco has a "funny" corner and when you combine a stressed Pixie the "funny" corner and the parking situation all becomes too much, especially when I found myself back there within 20 minutes of departure. Of course surprise surprise the missing bag hadn't been handed in - oh no ...when I got back home (now nicknamed Amityville) the bag was on the table.

Mr Pixie's comment when told the tale by email.....you are such a drama queen - oh how lucky he is to be in Trinidad xxxx