Belligerent Bunny

You know when you are just driving along in the Pixie Mobile to B & Q and half way down the dual carriageway you spy a cute wee bunny which certainly had the potential to change the day.

Mr Pixie was definitely in save the bunny mode as we did an emergency stop, reversed and carefully sneaked up on Mr Rabbit who was busy just being a rabbit on a grass verge. Obviously an escapee and not your common or garden grey bunny, this one was a cut above the rest (in fact I am sure I had a coat of that colour in the 70's but we will not go there).

So I sat there in awe thinking 2 seconds ago we were about to go and buy wood filler now the possibility of buying a hutch instead was defintely on the cards. Problems 1 and 2 I have two Jack Russells who just adore rabbits.

My mood deteriorated quickly....if we were not in the market for hutch buying then we would have to be responsible for re-homing, veting all potential parents, feeding, watering, schooling etc etc. Oh God why did I have to open my mouth and shout "ooh look at the rabbit".

Steathily Mr Pixie crept up on our little friend whilst at the same time was rubbing his thumb and forefinger together (no idead why) maybe he knows more about rabbits than me.

The rabbit stood up in a rabbit way, looked at him and must have thought not on your life pal, I have just escaped from Colditz and I'm off.....and he hopped off into the sunset very quickly.

There is a God.

Sardines in the Dark

A first for Pixie ~ ..... and maybe not the last. The time has come to oil the joints EPA Fish Oil and Glucosamine Sulphate does not quite cut it. The tablets are huge and if they don't go down with the first initial rush of water, you try again and because the first go has soften the torpedos they take on a mind of their own, turn sideways and decide to melt in your throat just before forming a dam thus making any hope of dislodgement impossible. Then death.

So I have turned to Sardines. In fact I turned to a Sardine last night. My very very first Sardine ever. Problem is I am squimish - so whats with the skin??

The answer - Sardines in the Dark ...marvellous x

Judgement Day

Highly commended sounds cool but in my book its 4th - and I should be pleased with that considering I was beaten by a Woodpecker, Death Valley and a row of Honda Scooters. Have to say the Judge was extremely kind (he was from Carlisle) and took an age to explain why he didn't like the prints. He did have praise indeed for my "Ticket to Ride" which was the title for the mono bike in the station but felt the piece of "architecture" in the front was not required...(idiot) but thats me being a tad sensitive. Of course I was beaten by the guy you love to hate because he has an Epson whatever printer that has the inks down at the side, has a Canon 5d and a 1D, used to be a web designer (has made so much money he is now retired) and is off on holiday tomorrow to the Oman - probably to get drop dead shots of camels camelling off into the sunset - bitter and twisted I am not but I hate him x pure pixie jealousy actually!

So that was yesterday ................

Now I have to think about the prints I am going to submit for the next round. Trouble is I am running out of ideas for titles so I may run a wee competition!! Its unbelievable how pedantic they can be over titles. Hey Maxxo you were right about the allotment brigade - a Lupin got third place.

Oh and I didn't chew anything............

Fighting the need to be a wasp

I used to have to change my clothes in telephone boxes as my dress sense has always been slightly off centre and my Dad did not understand me. We lived in Scotland at the time and the dance hall culture was still very much alive. Dancing to a live version of Chicory Tips Son of My Father is a lasting memory - getting tapped on the shoulder by this drop dead gorgeous hunk whom I had lusted after for weeks only to discover that he had no bottom teeth (seems to be a bit of a theme with me). However the main memory is the 6" black and red wrap around skirt, matching halter neck top and three inch heels that I was wearing at the time so............

Anything remotely different always attracts me. I have been venturing into this Stage School Shop for some time now on the look out for props. Ideally I need a 6ft black girl who will get her kit off for me, lie on a bed with huge black angels wings on her back (no comment boys as this is purely for portfolio reasons). So imagine my excitement when in the window of said shop I spied a full wasp outfit - don't ask me why, maybe wasps are in fashion - I have no idea. Yellow tights, antenna of sorts, black pvc bottom with a strippy top - if only I was 17 again!! Hey ho.

For those who are interested I no longer have to suffer someones groin in my face whilst trying to read my Bernard Cornwell on the train, the subsidence is no longer subsiding and we are back to normal.

Mr Fox - thank you for your comments and I did leave another post for you on my blog.

Of course tonight is judgement day - mm - am feeling less than confident as I have gone out on a limb here and my club is very much into robins standing on one leg on a spade in an allotment type of thing - not that I have anything against spades.

Another Chewer

But not of the tooth variety. The first of this years competitions is coming up at my club (Camera - but they call it Photographic Society - I will say no more). Anyway I am not very good with pressure and after the judging I usually find that I have chewed through the programme, have eaten two Turkish Delights without being aware so hence no pleasure, and the thumb of my glove has been sucked to near death.

Why? Because Judges are horrible, completely and utterly horrible (of course they are fantastic if they place you). So why do I feel the need to go out on a limb. This is one of my entries for Thursday night (tune in on Friday). You either like it or you hate it. I love it but I know exactly what the judge will say - the background is burnt out - which it is but my theory is that it makes the shapes in the foreground more interesting. Anyway we shall see.

Oh and on the transport front - things are no better, still subsidence on the line so by the time I get on the train its absolutely chocker. Its a game of Russian Roulette - I moved up the carriage to let a girl use my"hanging space" and I thought - yes someone in the block of seats I have just moved from will get off at the next station and yes they did (just like why does the bread always fall jamside down) and yes the girl got the seat - what would have been worse though is that she could have looked at me and thought this older lady could do with sitting down - no win no win - and actually this Pixie is not that old - promise.

The Chewing Tooth

It has taken me a whole week to come to terms with this. Brown envelope on doormat - please arrange for an appointment etc etc ...so I did - thinking that early morning appointments are at a premium so no chance of one until at least December - and what happened - a cancellation happened thats what.

So last Monday saw me in the Dentists chair at 8.30 am - I know I know.

Don't get me wrong, I am not dental phobic - I am just skint. I have already been dumped twice by NHS Dentists and have now out of necessity have gone private ........Now through the years I have managed to lose a tooth or three - please do not visualise a gummy toothless hag of a Pixie as that is not quite me(see above).

Anyway after years of porridge, weetabix and no toffee I have managed to survive but have come to realise that I only have one chewing tooth (upper right) and its getting a bit sick of being the only one in the playground.

After the all clear and before the dreaded hygenist I happened to ask what we could do about my lonely tooth. A number of options were given and discussed and I heard these words come out of my mouth before the brain engaged - so I think I have kinda sort of agreed to consider implants.

Apparently I need three so the Chewing Tooth is no longer an only tooth.

Apparently I cannot buy one at a time.

And apparently it will cost me £6,000.

I came out of there and the world has taken on a different dimension. No longer is that a fab BMW (secondhand) its is 3 teeth. No longer is that a kitchen to die for ... it is 6 teeth. My new macro lens is 1/8th of a tooth and so my life has been transformed.

I am now going to change my name to Waneta xx

Subsidence on the line

The immortal words "we are sorry for the delay etc etc" - never mind sorry for the delay, what about sorry you have paid £400 for an annual pass but there is no way on this earth that you will ever get a seat. We can guarantee, however, that if you do manage to squeeze your nicely rounded size 14 bottom into the last remaining corner of the carriage that "the nutter" will also manage to squeeze in beside you. You will be bombarded with chat about his preference over Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney, how Elvis is really not dead and the miracle of corn circles.

Of course when the train is so busy it is quite impossible to play the game. The game of - mm - is she really wearing that to work today or has she not gone home from the night before? - are they really a couple and do all those children belong to her?? It passes the time.

Sometimes though I think I borrow Mr Potters invisibility cloak as the conversations that occur are remarkable and fairly puts me off my latest Bernard Cornwell. The sex conversations, the shall I dump him conversations and the affair conversations - move over Jerry Springer.

Oh and it is also handy to have some form of martial art training. Once after being bolstered by a wine or three I decided to confront the lovely boy across from me who insisted on lying across the seat with his feet practically on my knee whilst every other word began with 'f' and believe me it wasn't 'fab'. The carriage fell silent - what is this Pixie doing.... this Pixie was doing what everyone else should do - stick up for and insist on reasonable behaviour in public places - oh dear I am turning into Mama Pixie .... best dash

Who Would be a Wedding Photographer??

It was about this time last year when not of sane mind and slightly emotionally disturbed that I decided to feed my addiction by entering into the world of wedding photography. I was very pleased at having thought of such a cunning plan and if the Taxman is reading this, well I only cover my expenses, in fact sometimes I get over zealous and give the prints away- honestly!

Cunning plan indeed, but I should have listened to those immortal words of Robbie Burns "the best laid schemes o' mice an men…" oh should I have taken heed!

I started down the rocky road to fame thinking "I can do this, it will be a breeze"……... My bubble was broken fairly quickly when one client approached me to check that I didn't have a dog phobia – in actual fact it was a Pit Bull phobia and the said doggy was to be invited to the nuptials and at one stage he was to be the "ring bearer" but common sense and the nice woman at the Registrars objection prevailed.

We move quickly on now to the Registrars – especially North Shields Registrar's. 12 o'clock weddings – nightmare, in fact 11.30 weddings to be more precise as they come out at noon. Whoever modified the Stag Line offices needs to be shot. The balcony that every couple wants their group shots taken on faces south and if it is a sunny day then you have had it. I have only done two weddings there one in November and one in June and both events were bathed in brilliant sunshine – how unlucky is that. One would have thought that you could have at least put money on the June wedding being rained off but no.

This takes me to group shots. First tip, make sure that if you are calling for a significant other that he or she is not dead (like the Grooms father etc) .. it kind of pours cold water on the proceedings, a lesson I learnt very quickly. Divorced families, squabbling siblings, the bridesmaids (one 4'6" and the other 6'2") all make for an interesting afternoon. Second tip, don't do group shots.

Now for the big one, technology. Who needs laxatives when technology can let you down. The words "CF Card Not Formatted" still makes me shudder. When this happened to me someone up there must have been looking down on me that day as I noticed it before the actual ceremony had begun. Now I know I can tell a good tale but how would I have explained that one! More horrors were yet to come – new to the game I had not bargained on losing a Card (my own fault, yet another lesson – always check your gear) and I was running out of memory very quickly (the gigabyte kind) –

Husband to the rescue yet again but instead of dashing to PC World to purchase an emergency supply, no no that is far too simple, he thought it would be a good idea to take the used cards, download them on the PC at home and bring the wiped down cards back to me at the Reception. All well and good except I remember standing there staring after the fast retreating car thinking he doesn't know how to transfer and save onto my PC…swear word swear word.

All, however, has turned out well and I live to tell the tale, the tale of the wedding cake made out of donuts, the bride with two dresses, the dodgy helicopter, the bride with the Mother in Law phobia, the black and white wedding, the one where the Best Man turned out to be a woman etc etc.

Anyway I must dash, but if anyone asks you to do their wedding think long and hard as trust me it has nothing whatsoever to do about Photography!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Day another Dollar

Haven't decided what to go on about today but need to get away from the mundane which is office, family and married life! Yes this Pixie is happily married but probably because Mr Pixie goes off to sea every 6 weeks so that does help!

I really want to ramble about second marriages and how difficult they are and how everyone looks to the main Pixie for advice, help and encouragement when all she wants to do is take photographs, shop a bit, drink a bit and shop some more, although the lack of funds does hinder this somewhat.

As soon as something goes wrong I can hear the cries from here. Daughter, Son, Mother and Mr P - all the same, all tied to the same stick but instead of leaving them to it I am compelled to plough in there and try to sort things out, then of course little Pixie here gets accused of being controlling - I give up.

Well actually I never give up and that is the key to life, always find a positive out of a negative, always go onwards and upwards and try and dodge those curved balls that come our way only far too frequently for my liking.