The immortal words "we are sorry for the delay etc etc" - never mind sorry for the delay, what about sorry you have paid £400 for an annual pass but there is no way on this earth that you will ever get a seat. We can guarantee, however, that if you do manage to squeeze your nicely rounded size 14 bottom into the last remaining corner of the carriage that "the nutter" will also manage to squeeze in beside you. You will be bombarded with chat about his preference over Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney, how Elvis is really not dead and the miracle of corn circles.
Of course when the train is so busy it is quite impossible to play the game. The game of - mm - is she really wearing that to work today or has she not gone home from the night before? - are they really a couple and do all those children belong to her?? It passes the time.
Sometimes though I think I borrow Mr Potters invisibility cloak as the conversations that occur are remarkable and fairly puts me off my latest Bernard Cornwell. The sex conversations, the shall I dump him conversations and the affair conversations - move over Jerry Springer.
Oh and it is also handy to have some form of martial art training. Once after being bolstered by a wine or three I decided to confront the lovely boy across from me who insisted on lying across the seat with his feet practically on my knee whilst every other word began with 'f' and believe me it wasn't 'fab'. The carriage fell silent - what is this Pixie doing.... this Pixie was doing what everyone else should do - stick up for and insist on reasonable behaviour in public places - oh dear I am turning into Mama Pixie .... best dash
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5 comments:
You made me remember why i bought a car! But you also made me remember public transport to work with a smile!
You're spot on with regards to challenging the "hoodie generation" - Me.... I find it easier to just out-hoodie them all..... get the blingingest biggest hoodie on the block, and they all bow down with ultimate respect!!
I find Adidas works quite well.... but never try an Umbro!!
FoX
some guy from newcastle once cornered me on the tube and said that umbro was "the white man's trainer". i was wearing adidas pumps and uh, that didn't go down well with him. he was pissed as a newt which is probably just as well otherwise he would have probably smashed my head in.
I was in a very rough bar in North Shields and this "lady" pushed me and stood on my foot. I politely pointed out that she was ruining my Gucci pumps. She was not aware of said make and thought I said you ***** chump. She was pissed so I also had a lucky escape.
i love it up north.
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