What Ever Happened tp Arch Angel Gabriel?

Baby Pixie was staying over last night. This morning a treat was in store, at 7.45 precisely in walked the "Narrator" (holding a torch for effect) along with numerous small dolls that usually live in a dolls house and one of these wooden things that it supposed to teach you how to draw figures. Since the night before he had acquired a painted face of some description - I know not why.

Out comes the now wooden thing that teaches you to draw - he was the Inn Keeper (a bit previous actually), then in came Mary on a rocking chair and Joseph (who hopped as his foot was missing). All of a sudden and to much aplomb out from behind baby Pixie's back came......................................................................................................."the Robot sent from God"

I have never ever laughed so much in my life - talk about improvisation.

Now the Robot was telling Mary and Joseph with the one foot that they were about to have a baby - then he flew off (he was a Transformer actually).

From laughing hysterically laughter turned to tears as she started to sing Away in a Manger - aaaaaaaaaaah and with that I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, a most Happy New Year and I will be back in 2008.

Cheers Everyone, its been lovely getting to read a slice of everyones life.

Pixie

Who the **** is Isobel?????????

Granma Pixie has been perplexed. Granma Pixie has had her bloomers in a twist and why - well I have a cousin who has taken it upon himself to be the deliverer and picker up of Christmas gifts and this year he has turned into a compulsive liar and didn't turn up when he said he would. The reason for Granma's panic and dilemma is "Isobels present".

Now I had to have the conversation. Granma who is Isobel? Well remember your dead Aunty Elsies dead husbands brother who is also dead well Isobel was his consort/girl friend/bit on the side. Mmmmm Granma have you ever met Isobel? - no Pixie pet I have not, then why do you buy her a present? - well she buys me one pet - BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS WOMAN IS..................... I give up.

Then we had the crisis of Aunty Betty (Granma Pixies sister) who is in near hysterics because their second cousin Pauline has sent a card that looks like a Cemetry apparently. Now Granma had the same card and to me it looked like the Old Curiosity Shop but what do I know.

Talking about cards I also get handed every year three cards that are sent to Granmas - love from Young Joan (obviously there is an older Joan) some husband and a dog, another from Sandra and family and one from Maureen, David, some son, sons wife and their children.

Again I had to ask the question - who are these people and why do they send me a card to your house every year ??? - Third cousins five times removed and Granma writes cards on my behalf.

I am going to go in a corner to scream.

Baby Pixie

Baby Pixie is 7 - Baby Pixie knows what she wants.

Saturday was the busiest shopping day of the year so far and we decided to go into Newcastle "for a lookie see" - not intending to buy too much, well thats a joke for a start but in principle that was the idea.

OK Baby we will go straight to Fenwicks toy department and you can get a treat - what you would like? Mmm thought Baby, - Robbie Thompson needs some new clothes. (For those not in the know Robbie is the doll that closely resembles Chucky - Miss Pizza you will understand this one) - but Baby why does he need more clothes - he is a growing boy was the reply and you know Mama Pixie you can never have enough clothes.

Thats my girl.

Its a big Thistle!

Well it looks a bit big when it is scanned in but I have had it reduced to the size of a poppy head. Little Pixie thinks she is having nail extensions - well thats what is in her head, I am going to tell her that we are having a "bonding" afternoon at a craft shop to design a dinner set together - thats a laugh!

What is more amazing is the amount of people who know about this!!!!!!!!!

Have a good weekend everyone, Pixie is off to help Santa x

All I want for Christmas is a Tattoo????

Mmmmm girl child of Pixie feels left out - boy child has a tattoo - a whopping big Ant actually (after Prodigy) but I insist it looks more like a spider.

Pixie has three but the whys and where fors of that is another blog completely. Grandma Pixie is also devoid of any artwork on her body although I do threaten now and again that an Anchor would look cool.

The trouble is girl child has a low pain threshold and although she has been outside the Tattooist, she has never been in - so when drawing up my Christmas list I thought - what has she not got - and there you go - the answer was staring me in the face.

So I have designed one for her. I have been to the Tattooist discussed the plan paid a deposit and all I have to do is wait until 5.00 Friday 21st December.

Now this could go horribly wrong - I might end up having another tattoo - she might go for it but leap out of the chair half way through or she might end up with nothing in her stocking at all.

She knows that she is getting a surprise - she thinks she is getting false nails - she's in for a shock!

PS The tattoo that I have designed is a Thistle (little Pixie is Scottish) and it is to go on the base of her spine - I love it!!!!!!!

Ghosts, Ghouls and Vibrators

Living in a very old house and with two confirmed ghostly sightings I sometimes get a tad nervous - only occasionally, maybe an over active imagination I don't know but sometimes when I open the front door I can sense that something has gone before me. In actual fact my apparition is a tall man with a black frock coat and a hat but I digress.

So now you are furnished with a slight history I will tell my tale.

The wind is howling, rain lashing against the attic window I am snuggled up in a large antique French wrought iron bed, deep plum velvet throw over crisp white Egyptian cotton duvet and sheets, stripped wooden floor and white sheepskin rugs - get the picture?

Fantastic

2.30 this morning said Egyptian cotton duvet, deep plum velvet throw get tossed in the air, I slip on the wonderful opulent sheepskin rug and I am running around the bedroom in search of an unhuman sound.

Now people tell me this ~ how does a six inch vibrator with dead batteries manage to turn itself on in the middle of the night when it is locked away in a cupboard!!!!!!!!!!

Tired Pixie does not know the answer either.

Reflexology Rocks

Oh what a treat and I have just discovered the difference between foot rub and foot massage - oooh 45 minutes of pure delight. Wrapped up in warm towels listening to the sound of crashing waves on a distant shore, twinkling lights and the smell of frankensence - fabulous.

Working down the menu of sensual pleasures my next adventure is "hot stones" mmmmm I cannot wait.

Can you tell I have an absent husband.

Girls my hot tip is to get a significant other half to grap hold of your big toe and middle toe and pull in different directions whilst gently rubbing in a circular motion - oh yes x

OK here it goes......

Dear Baby Pix

Do not be upset that your accent is different, that is a good thing and it will stand you in good stead. Your Cockney accent makes you distinctive, stand up to the bullies who presume that different is "posh" - what do they know. Scotland will not be the place for you but you will spend a good chunk of your life there. Keep digging the tunnel girl and eventually you will end up full circle back to where you were born - Newcastle. Still with a different accent but a Geordie at heart.

Kenny Biernet is a tosser - but at 14 what do you know. This however will be the blue print for many of your relationships to come - they will usually be short and definitely tossers. Unfortunately pet you will marry one of these. You will stay married for 13 years but do not have a faint heart things will turn.

In these 13 years you will become down trodden and dowdy, your husband will abuse you both physically and verbally and you will be at a loss as to what to do. You will have two children, a boy and a girl.

Then unexpectedly your Dad dies and your life changes. Someone flicks the switch and for the first time you see your life through different eyes.

You leave said megga Tosser (Pete) and you start a wonderful roller coaster of adventure. You kiss a lot of frogs but it is great fun, you are now a butterfly and are sick with the excitemen of it all.

You pack up your family and Granma Pixie and you head for the hills. Your life changes forever.

You meet the love of your life and you climb onto a pedastal and you stay there.

Go girl x

Trinny and Susannah have a lot to answer for

For those not in the "know" and there cannot be that many - Trinny and Susannah are the UK's most opinionated women and they vocalise their opinions fearlessly through TV and media. Between Gok and How to Look Good Naked and T & S's efforts to Dress the Nation my lunch hours have been totally ruined ~ for why?

(a) I could not move in Top Shop yesterday for 80 somethings asking where the Kate Moss section was......

(b) I had to trawl through Boots for the "best body butter ever" - (actually it is good.)

Then of course it hasn't stoppped there - I have only gone and bought the book (in my defence it was half price in Waterstones)

So now I have decided to enter myself as a question in a Pub Quiz - "guess the shape of the Pixie"

Here are your choices:-

Skittle
Goblet
Hourglss
Cornet
Cello
Apple
Column
Bell
Vase
Brick
Lollipop
Pear

I ask you what self respecting Pixie would call herself a brick?

I don't think so x

Its All Too Much

I love and hate Christmas. At the moment I am just getting over the drama of Granma Pixies TV remote control dying - the prospect of her missing Julie Andrews at Christmas was just too much. The fact that her ceiling light bulb had also gone out and I had to do a Commando like pose on the floor to try and get the TV out of standby mode with a torch was unbelievable. The fact that you can apparently buy a global remote control is hillarious - because it was bound to fail. Keying in 25 different codes for Hitachi was so much fun. It was even more fun to discover that it was the sensor that had gone on the TV and nothing to do with the remote.

Even better when my key got stuck in my front door and I was locked out, this meant having to climb over the back wall (Mr Pixie is still at sea - oh great) going through Granma Pixies (she lives downstairs) ...she is a bit deaf and couldn't hear the hysterical knocking on her door and I had left her spare key in the house......it gets better....eventually

Leaving key still in lock I "dashed" to Tesco for some of that UB40 stuff (whatever) 6 bottles of wine, 3 red, 3 white and Vodka for Granma. The oil worked a treat and the key was released but because I was up a height I found I had left a bag in Tesco (it happened to contain the new remix Rolling Stones CD that has been advertised on telly). Now our Tesco has a "funny" corner and when you combine a stressed Pixie the "funny" corner and the parking situation all becomes too much, especially when I found myself back there within 20 minutes of departure. Of course surprise surprise the missing bag hadn't been handed in - oh no ...when I got back home (now nicknamed Amityville) the bag was on the table.

Mr Pixie's comment when told the tale by email.....you are such a drama queen - oh how lucky he is to be in Trinidad xxxx

Let it Snow Let it Snow Let it Snow

Ooooh for the first time since June (I jest) it was snowing this morning in the North East - only for 20 minutes but that was enough. Dark days before Christmas, little flakes of snow falling on a quiet land ...marvellous. Then back to reality with a bump, I am wrapped up for winter, office is warm as toast and I am sweating like a fat lass (apologies but that is a well known saying in Newcastle).

Yippeeeeeeee its nearly the weekend x

Can I do it??

At the moment you could easily platt the hair on this Pixies legs....can I do it? Can I wait until the Beautician (woman in black) has a spare five minutes to whip them off (hot wax) mmm ..my money is on the razor.

I can see it now - relaxing in a lovely hot bath, the aforementioned hair floating like wafts of seaweed amongst the bubbles - hand reaches out for the Palmolive and grabs the razor instead - and thats it in 2 seconds flat all my effort trying to grow the hairs on my legs long enough to get waxed and be hair free for hopefully at least 3 weeks gone - !!

Also whilst writing can I please complain about sniffers - and I don't want to be sexist here but its normally a man - this morning on the train into work I was surrounded ...it started with a sniff, then a bigger sniff and then a swallow - gross - what has happened to nice hankies, the one your Aunty always gave you with your initials on - ???????

Everyone needs a little...............

.................Booja-Booja

If you haven't yet tried this delectable delight then seek it out whilst stocks last!!!!

For those not in the "know" this is chocolate suitable for Vegans - DO NOT LET THAT PUT YOU OFF - it is only readily available at Easter and Christmas (and only in posh shops) but it is such a treat. I popped to Fenwicks today (reasonably posh shop in Newcastle) to buy coffee and came out with the following:-

A Newcastle United FC Advent Calendar
A box of After Eights
A large box of Booja Booja
A small advent calendar

and a pop up Christmas Card

A jar of Nescafe has therefore cost me £23.00

Bargain x

Chips Made by Elvis

I am a "game of two halves" husband went off to sea on Monday and I am having an Indian Head Massage on Saturday - why - cos I can. I also had cheese patty and chips last night from "Erics" (local chip shop that has wall to wall Elvis pictures all over the place, in fact I think Eric is Elvis) - why - cos I can. I slept in the middle of the bed last night - lush - I didn't do the dishes until this morning - marvellous.

Of course the euphoria only lasts about 8 to 9 days then I start to miss him - but I haven't reached that stage yet.

Apart from the excitement of the forthcoming head massage I also got my tash waxed last night. I think I reached the stage that you could platt it and put beads in it, it was that overgrown - I also asked her to do my chin by she refused (she being the lovely girl that comes to your house and inflicts torture for a fiver - bargain) - apparently if you start with that you soon become the bearded lady/pixie.

Mmmmmmmmm

Inside Out

Why am I wearing a jumper that deliberately looks like it is inside out, why do I buy skirts with no hem - threads of which could be considered a Health and Safety issue, why have I got a drawer full of pink, green and purple tights? All these questions were popping in and out of an empty head this morning, inbetween that and my efforts to see what the chap across from me was reading.

I obviously am bored.

To this end I am trying to kick start my creativity and have started working on the Artists Way Work Book. This means that every morning I have to complete "Morning Pages" i.e. as soon as I wake I have to empty my head onto these pages - this is to get rid of negativity....mm we shall see.

This mornings ramblings (and they are not supposed to make sense) were as follows:-

Car on a tightrope
Why did I have that curry last night
I am tired
I don't want to go to work

Think I have a long way to go with this x

Baby its cold outside...........

Menopausal Pixies need to leave windows wide open because Mother Nature likes a laugh, she likes to turn Pixies into burning embers in the middle of the night, she likes to create rivulets to trickle gently down your back, she likes to make you so restless that soon the average menopausal pixie turns into an Eygptian Mummy and becomes so entangled in the cotton sheets (it has to be cotton) that Houdini would have a problem.

Windows open in Summer good. Windows open in late Autumn bad. Mr Pixie has a problem.

His objection is that he has to crack the ice on his glass of water before drinking, he has to wear thermals and run the risk of the 10 year old hot water bottle eventually springing a leak.

Hey ho.

He is off to Trinidad tomorrow for 8 weeks - windows will be wide open - bring it on.

Frustrated Pixie

You know when you know you are right but the person you are arguing with thinks he is right and you are wrong uuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh x

Just thought I would share the frustration. I hate proper work I really do - much prefer the pretendy kind, you know the kind that you can get up at 10.00 for, finish at 2.00, not bother some days, go shopping, have a nice lunch, go shopping again and get paid wads of cash for it.

Grandma Pixie always said - rather be an old mans darling than a young mans fool

Hale Grandma x

Sad Today

My photography enables me to meet all sorts of people and I seem to collect loads of friends on the way.

One particular girl whom I have photographed on many occasions came to me for an empowerment shoot. She had breast cancer 4 years ago and since then was having problems with coming to terms with the way she looked. This girl is a stunner but no matter how many people told her how good she looked the inner confidence was lacking.

We did loads of things, I have photographed her hugging a punch bag wearing only a G string, a white open shirt and killer heels, we have been to the beach and basically she just enjoys being in front of the camera. She has won me prizes.

Yesterday I was told the cancer has come back.

Sad Pixie today x

Decisions, Decisions ..................

Age is not just about wrinkles, expanding waistline, grey hair and losing teeth (I know I have an obsession here) no no - its about decisions.

Every year we had a loo brush, then we had a bushy loo brush, then heaven forbid we had a silver one, then for years we had real ones, then we went for artificial with limbs that had to be colour coded and now - NOW - it has come down to a 3ft affair with fibre optics. Of course gentle people I am talking about trees, of the Christmas variety.

Sense has fallen on the Pixie household and as this little Pixie will be spending Christmas alone (no sympathetic aaahs please as I quite enjoy it) it seemed prudent to go to the garden centre (which of course by this time of year is dripping with every tree imaginable under its roof) and chose a no fuss no climbing into loft no cutting of trunk with bread knife kind of tree.

So thats it, I have gone and done it and at the bargain price of £14.99 - marvellous. Downside is that I "tested" it last night and I really really want to put it up now - .............

Belligerent Bunny

You know when you are just driving along in the Pixie Mobile to B & Q and half way down the dual carriageway you spy a cute wee bunny which certainly had the potential to change the day.

Mr Pixie was definitely in save the bunny mode as we did an emergency stop, reversed and carefully sneaked up on Mr Rabbit who was busy just being a rabbit on a grass verge. Obviously an escapee and not your common or garden grey bunny, this one was a cut above the rest (in fact I am sure I had a coat of that colour in the 70's but we will not go there).

So I sat there in awe thinking 2 seconds ago we were about to go and buy wood filler now the possibility of buying a hutch instead was defintely on the cards. Problems 1 and 2 I have two Jack Russells who just adore rabbits.

My mood deteriorated quickly....if we were not in the market for hutch buying then we would have to be responsible for re-homing, veting all potential parents, feeding, watering, schooling etc etc. Oh God why did I have to open my mouth and shout "ooh look at the rabbit".

Steathily Mr Pixie crept up on our little friend whilst at the same time was rubbing his thumb and forefinger together (no idead why) maybe he knows more about rabbits than me.

The rabbit stood up in a rabbit way, looked at him and must have thought not on your life pal, I have just escaped from Colditz and I'm off.....and he hopped off into the sunset very quickly.

There is a God.

Sardines in the Dark

A first for Pixie ~ ..... and maybe not the last. The time has come to oil the joints EPA Fish Oil and Glucosamine Sulphate does not quite cut it. The tablets are huge and if they don't go down with the first initial rush of water, you try again and because the first go has soften the torpedos they take on a mind of their own, turn sideways and decide to melt in your throat just before forming a dam thus making any hope of dislodgement impossible. Then death.

So I have turned to Sardines. In fact I turned to a Sardine last night. My very very first Sardine ever. Problem is I am squimish - so whats with the skin??

The answer - Sardines in the Dark ...marvellous x

Judgement Day

Highly commended sounds cool but in my book its 4th - and I should be pleased with that considering I was beaten by a Woodpecker, Death Valley and a row of Honda Scooters. Have to say the Judge was extremely kind (he was from Carlisle) and took an age to explain why he didn't like the prints. He did have praise indeed for my "Ticket to Ride" which was the title for the mono bike in the station but felt the piece of "architecture" in the front was not required...(idiot) but thats me being a tad sensitive. Of course I was beaten by the guy you love to hate because he has an Epson whatever printer that has the inks down at the side, has a Canon 5d and a 1D, used to be a web designer (has made so much money he is now retired) and is off on holiday tomorrow to the Oman - probably to get drop dead shots of camels camelling off into the sunset - bitter and twisted I am not but I hate him x pure pixie jealousy actually!

So that was yesterday ................

Now I have to think about the prints I am going to submit for the next round. Trouble is I am running out of ideas for titles so I may run a wee competition!! Its unbelievable how pedantic they can be over titles. Hey Maxxo you were right about the allotment brigade - a Lupin got third place.

Oh and I didn't chew anything............

Fighting the need to be a wasp

I used to have to change my clothes in telephone boxes as my dress sense has always been slightly off centre and my Dad did not understand me. We lived in Scotland at the time and the dance hall culture was still very much alive. Dancing to a live version of Chicory Tips Son of My Father is a lasting memory - getting tapped on the shoulder by this drop dead gorgeous hunk whom I had lusted after for weeks only to discover that he had no bottom teeth (seems to be a bit of a theme with me). However the main memory is the 6" black and red wrap around skirt, matching halter neck top and three inch heels that I was wearing at the time so............

Anything remotely different always attracts me. I have been venturing into this Stage School Shop for some time now on the look out for props. Ideally I need a 6ft black girl who will get her kit off for me, lie on a bed with huge black angels wings on her back (no comment boys as this is purely for portfolio reasons). So imagine my excitement when in the window of said shop I spied a full wasp outfit - don't ask me why, maybe wasps are in fashion - I have no idea. Yellow tights, antenna of sorts, black pvc bottom with a strippy top - if only I was 17 again!! Hey ho.

For those who are interested I no longer have to suffer someones groin in my face whilst trying to read my Bernard Cornwell on the train, the subsidence is no longer subsiding and we are back to normal.

Mr Fox - thank you for your comments and I did leave another post for you on my blog.

Of course tonight is judgement day - mm - am feeling less than confident as I have gone out on a limb here and my club is very much into robins standing on one leg on a spade in an allotment type of thing - not that I have anything against spades.

Another Chewer

But not of the tooth variety. The first of this years competitions is coming up at my club (Camera - but they call it Photographic Society - I will say no more). Anyway I am not very good with pressure and after the judging I usually find that I have chewed through the programme, have eaten two Turkish Delights without being aware so hence no pleasure, and the thumb of my glove has been sucked to near death.

Why? Because Judges are horrible, completely and utterly horrible (of course they are fantastic if they place you). So why do I feel the need to go out on a limb. This is one of my entries for Thursday night (tune in on Friday). You either like it or you hate it. I love it but I know exactly what the judge will say - the background is burnt out - which it is but my theory is that it makes the shapes in the foreground more interesting. Anyway we shall see.

Oh and on the transport front - things are no better, still subsidence on the line so by the time I get on the train its absolutely chocker. Its a game of Russian Roulette - I moved up the carriage to let a girl use my"hanging space" and I thought - yes someone in the block of seats I have just moved from will get off at the next station and yes they did (just like why does the bread always fall jamside down) and yes the girl got the seat - what would have been worse though is that she could have looked at me and thought this older lady could do with sitting down - no win no win - and actually this Pixie is not that old - promise.

The Chewing Tooth

It has taken me a whole week to come to terms with this. Brown envelope on doormat - please arrange for an appointment etc etc ...so I did - thinking that early morning appointments are at a premium so no chance of one until at least December - and what happened - a cancellation happened thats what.

So last Monday saw me in the Dentists chair at 8.30 am - I know I know.

Don't get me wrong, I am not dental phobic - I am just skint. I have already been dumped twice by NHS Dentists and have now out of necessity have gone private ........Now through the years I have managed to lose a tooth or three - please do not visualise a gummy toothless hag of a Pixie as that is not quite me(see above).

Anyway after years of porridge, weetabix and no toffee I have managed to survive but have come to realise that I only have one chewing tooth (upper right) and its getting a bit sick of being the only one in the playground.

After the all clear and before the dreaded hygenist I happened to ask what we could do about my lonely tooth. A number of options were given and discussed and I heard these words come out of my mouth before the brain engaged - so I think I have kinda sort of agreed to consider implants.

Apparently I need three so the Chewing Tooth is no longer an only tooth.

Apparently I cannot buy one at a time.

And apparently it will cost me £6,000.

I came out of there and the world has taken on a different dimension. No longer is that a fab BMW (secondhand) its is 3 teeth. No longer is that a kitchen to die for ... it is 6 teeth. My new macro lens is 1/8th of a tooth and so my life has been transformed.

I am now going to change my name to Waneta xx

Subsidence on the line

The immortal words "we are sorry for the delay etc etc" - never mind sorry for the delay, what about sorry you have paid £400 for an annual pass but there is no way on this earth that you will ever get a seat. We can guarantee, however, that if you do manage to squeeze your nicely rounded size 14 bottom into the last remaining corner of the carriage that "the nutter" will also manage to squeeze in beside you. You will be bombarded with chat about his preference over Cliff Richard and Paul McCartney, how Elvis is really not dead and the miracle of corn circles.

Of course when the train is so busy it is quite impossible to play the game. The game of - mm - is she really wearing that to work today or has she not gone home from the night before? - are they really a couple and do all those children belong to her?? It passes the time.

Sometimes though I think I borrow Mr Potters invisibility cloak as the conversations that occur are remarkable and fairly puts me off my latest Bernard Cornwell. The sex conversations, the shall I dump him conversations and the affair conversations - move over Jerry Springer.

Oh and it is also handy to have some form of martial art training. Once after being bolstered by a wine or three I decided to confront the lovely boy across from me who insisted on lying across the seat with his feet practically on my knee whilst every other word began with 'f' and believe me it wasn't 'fab'. The carriage fell silent - what is this Pixie doing.... this Pixie was doing what everyone else should do - stick up for and insist on reasonable behaviour in public places - oh dear I am turning into Mama Pixie .... best dash

Who Would be a Wedding Photographer??

It was about this time last year when not of sane mind and slightly emotionally disturbed that I decided to feed my addiction by entering into the world of wedding photography. I was very pleased at having thought of such a cunning plan and if the Taxman is reading this, well I only cover my expenses, in fact sometimes I get over zealous and give the prints away- honestly!

Cunning plan indeed, but I should have listened to those immortal words of Robbie Burns "the best laid schemes o' mice an men…" oh should I have taken heed!

I started down the rocky road to fame thinking "I can do this, it will be a breeze"……... My bubble was broken fairly quickly when one client approached me to check that I didn't have a dog phobia – in actual fact it was a Pit Bull phobia and the said doggy was to be invited to the nuptials and at one stage he was to be the "ring bearer" but common sense and the nice woman at the Registrars objection prevailed.

We move quickly on now to the Registrars – especially North Shields Registrar's. 12 o'clock weddings – nightmare, in fact 11.30 weddings to be more precise as they come out at noon. Whoever modified the Stag Line offices needs to be shot. The balcony that every couple wants their group shots taken on faces south and if it is a sunny day then you have had it. I have only done two weddings there one in November and one in June and both events were bathed in brilliant sunshine – how unlucky is that. One would have thought that you could have at least put money on the June wedding being rained off but no.

This takes me to group shots. First tip, make sure that if you are calling for a significant other that he or she is not dead (like the Grooms father etc) .. it kind of pours cold water on the proceedings, a lesson I learnt very quickly. Divorced families, squabbling siblings, the bridesmaids (one 4'6" and the other 6'2") all make for an interesting afternoon. Second tip, don't do group shots.

Now for the big one, technology. Who needs laxatives when technology can let you down. The words "CF Card Not Formatted" still makes me shudder. When this happened to me someone up there must have been looking down on me that day as I noticed it before the actual ceremony had begun. Now I know I can tell a good tale but how would I have explained that one! More horrors were yet to come – new to the game I had not bargained on losing a Card (my own fault, yet another lesson – always check your gear) and I was running out of memory very quickly (the gigabyte kind) –

Husband to the rescue yet again but instead of dashing to PC World to purchase an emergency supply, no no that is far too simple, he thought it would be a good idea to take the used cards, download them on the PC at home and bring the wiped down cards back to me at the Reception. All well and good except I remember standing there staring after the fast retreating car thinking he doesn't know how to transfer and save onto my PC…swear word swear word.

All, however, has turned out well and I live to tell the tale, the tale of the wedding cake made out of donuts, the bride with two dresses, the dodgy helicopter, the bride with the Mother in Law phobia, the black and white wedding, the one where the Best Man turned out to be a woman etc etc.

Anyway I must dash, but if anyone asks you to do their wedding think long and hard as trust me it has nothing whatsoever to do about Photography!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Day another Dollar

Haven't decided what to go on about today but need to get away from the mundane which is office, family and married life! Yes this Pixie is happily married but probably because Mr Pixie goes off to sea every 6 weeks so that does help!

I really want to ramble about second marriages and how difficult they are and how everyone looks to the main Pixie for advice, help and encouragement when all she wants to do is take photographs, shop a bit, drink a bit and shop some more, although the lack of funds does hinder this somewhat.

As soon as something goes wrong I can hear the cries from here. Daughter, Son, Mother and Mr P - all the same, all tied to the same stick but instead of leaving them to it I am compelled to plough in there and try to sort things out, then of course little Pixie here gets accused of being controlling - I give up.

Well actually I never give up and that is the key to life, always find a positive out of a negative, always go onwards and upwards and try and dodge those curved balls that come our way only far too frequently for my liking.

Perplexed Pixie

You just know when its wrong, you sit there, you look in the mirror and yet you say nothing and you know its wrong.

So why is it when this normally loud mouthed opinionated Pixie sits in a hairdressers chair all sense and reason flee and I nod and smile sweetly.

I think I will buy a hat x

Happy Pixie

Am now a reasonably happy Pixie having managed to successfully manipulate an umbrella (green) large bag (black) and raincoat too small to fasten (green) in a squalling wind and torrential rain in an effort to spend as much money as a pixie can in her lunch break. Mission (1) locate and purchase two pairs of leg warmers (do not ask) Mission (2) to locate and purchase one pair of Walford opaque black tights (deep joy as they were reduced by £2.00) and Mission (3) to locate and purchase one black cashmere polo neck (hysterical jubilation as Pixie is not that fat after all - see remark about raincoat - and the said garment was a gorgeous Size 12).

Jubiliation on over drive and have just devoured one large Yorkie Bar and now I feel sick x